Tender heartedness

Richard and I were in Walmart recently, looking for an electric ice cream freezer. We were browsing through the small appliances when speeding out of an aisle came a little boy – maybe 4 – on a tricycle. He stopped, gave us a grin, and then sped off. We chuckled at the unexpected scene, and kept shopping. You just don't expect to get run down by a tricycle in Walmart.

In a few minutes, the little boy came slowly driving by, this time a more concerned look on his face. He was looking around, and Richard said, “I don’t think he can find his parents.”

Unable to find the ice cream freezer, I said, “Well, let’s go try Target.” Richard said, “I’m not leaving here until I make sure that little boy has found his parents.” And, Richard began to follow the boy on the tricycle, keeping his distance but keeping an eye on him.

About 10 minutes later, my 6-5 son joined me at the front of the store, “His mama found him in the shoes. I've seen that look in her eye. He's probably going to get a spanking.”

I propose to you that the Holy Spirit nudged Richard to care for the little boy, and that Richard was obedient to slow his life down and follow that nudging. And, in doing so, demonstrated a measure of tender-heartedness toward the situation. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:31 . . . “believers are to get rid of bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior and instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” We show tender-heartedness when we are kind, caring and forgiving of one another. Our hearts are tender to the needs of others. Further, we are tender-hearted when we are wide-eyed to the needs of others, slow our lives down to serve, and then practice kindness, caring and forgiveness.

For believers, tender-heartedness is not an option. In being tender-hearted, we are replicating how Jesus loves us, accepting His kindness, sacrifice, and forgiveness, and paying that forward to others, including strangers. We are following Jesus when we practice tender-heartedness.

But, let's take it step further. Because many, many good people - who don't follow Jesus - do good things for others. Community service organizations and philanthropies have churned out tender-hearted people for years and years. Most people, I believe, practice a measure of tender-heartedness, especially toward family and friends. In fact, any unbeliever could have responded - and may have responded - just as Richard did in Walmart.

At lunchtime on Friday, I met with three other men in our community for a time of prayer. We were from four different churches though that was not planned. One of the men, a runner, shared that every day he runs 2-3 miles. Along this journey, he often sees a neighbor and they wave at one another. Recently, my friend said his neighbor was at the mailbox when he ran by, and they actually spoke. Something in the neighbor’s eyes caused my friend to stop, turn around, and walk back for a handshake and an introduction. The neighbor then began to cry. His marriage was falling apart. My friend said his heart literally broke for his neighbor and ministry followed. “I pray this leads to a conversation about Jesus,” my friend said. “He may know Jesus, but I want to make sure; perhaps He just needs to turn back to Jesus.”

This is what it really means to be tenderhearted as a follower of Jesus. We see beyond the Earthly pain to the spiritual pain. We look for opportunities to build relationship with people toward a goal of talking to some about faith. Tenderheartedness, I propose, for the believer, is about pouring into a person's Earthly pain toward a goal of easing that person's spiritual pain.

In Matthew 11:25-30, Jesus talks about His own heart. It's one of the only times in Scripture when Jesus does this. In this passage, Jesus says that we will approach Him like (tender-hearted) children - unjaded and innocent. He calls Himself simple and gentle (tenderhearted) and in connecting with people that way, some find salvation and its peace through Him.

You and I are called to make disciples - not just to be good people. Being tender-hearted is the way we build relationship toward faith conversations. Many people do good things for others. Our heart breaks for those who struggle, who are lonely, who are hurting, whose marriages are crumbling, whose children are sick, who need a friend, and who need a cold cup of water. I am a tender-hearted person. My radar goes up for those kinds of needs, and I love to respond to people – often very privately.

But, as a believer, I’m not finishing the race if I just ease the Earthly pain. As I pour into a person, I’ve got to be looking downfield with a goal to talk about Jesus – to talk about my faith. Did you know that only about 50 percent of confessing Christians believe they have a responsibility to share their faith with others? That means 50 percent believe it’s someone else’s responsibility. That’s research from the Barna Group - a leader in research among evangelicals. Research from Campus Crusades for Christ suggests that only 2 percent of believers share their faith. This research speaks loudly about the condition of our hearts toward others and toward Jesus. If it's not our responsibility to share faith with others, whose responsibility is it? Do we honestly believe we can follow Jesus on the one hand and never discuss Him on the other? Impossible.

Those who share their faith, those who have a burden to share their faith, are those who are tenderhearted – tenderhearted to the gospel – tenderhearted toward following Jesus. Those who don’t – those who don’t feel the burden – are growing or have grown hard-hearted toward Jesus – even if their actions toward others include random acts of kindness, hospital visits and chicken casseroles.

So, how do we share our faith with others? It's not something I have a lot of experience with, but I am intentionally focusing my life on being more tender-hearted toward the gospel and toward others. Here are some of my thoughts and discoveries:

1. Be confident that you are a confessing follower of Jesus. It’s one thing to be saved; it’s another thing to claim that Jesus is Lord of your life and that you are following Him. Those who follow Jesus will find it impossible to ignore talking about Him. In the way that I love my boys and talk about them from that pool of love, I will likewise find it impossible to love Jesus and not talk about Him.
2. Practice using the name of Jesus. This has worked for me. It was uncomfortable at first because it draws a line in the relationship sand. Using the name of Jesus - as opposed to "the Lord" as if he's a faraway king - forces others to react. Some will be repulsed by the name of Jesus, but I'm learning that the name of Jesus opens unbelievable doors for ministry and my life is blessed because of my response to Him.
3. What do I say about Jesus? What are the right words to say? Do I need to search for words to talk about my Vicki or my boys? No. There are no right and holy words to recite. As you are asked about your faith, you tell your story with Jesus. You tell how your life was before, how you came to be broken by your sin, and what life is like now. Need help with your story? Click here.
4. What if people want to argue? Don’t. I never argue. I don’t have to argue. I can’t save someone from sin. My responsibility is to be tender-hearted, love people, want people to know Jesus, and talk about Him. The Holy Spirit will go to work and some will respond. Some will not respond. I'm not judged by God based on how others respond to Jesus. My calling is to be obedient in talking about Him and reflecting Him in my life.
5. What if people have questions that I can’t answer? That’s cool. You say, 'I don’t know all the answers. I’ll do some research and get back to you.' I use this website to help me with my own questions and to answer the questions of others: www.gotquestions.org. People are more likely to listen if you impress them by working to get answers.
6. What if someone says they want me to pray for them? Do it. Again, there are no "right words." The Holy Spirit will give you the words. They may be awkward, but they will not sound that way to the one needing to hear them. Honestly, I've prayed some of the most bungled-up prayers and when I finished the other person was in tears. So, it wasn't me - it was the Holy Spirit speaking to them. Remember, we are talking about supernatural matters here. You and I are just vessels through which the Spirit communicates.
7. What if someone says ‘What must I do to be saved?’ – If you declare with your mouth that “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead to be your Savior from the worship of self, you will be saved. Romans 10:9. Read the book of Romans. It will change your life and empower you to be bold with others.
8. Pray daily for God to send hurting people into your life. Give them cool water to ease the pain of the Earthly journey, and be prepared to help them drink the eternal water that only comes from Jesus. I promise that once you become tender-hearted to both men and to the sharing of the gospel, your life will be completely different. And, in that alteration comes unbelievable peace and joy.