Fighting jealousy and discontent; finding peace

I am friends with two sisters on Facebook. They have children who appear to be about the same age. They are constantly bickering through Facebook. Now, they don’t verbally do it; they do it through photographs. One will post a photograph of her daughter doing something very special; the other sister will soon after post a photograph of her daughter doing something very special. One will post where her family is going on vacation; the other tries to trump it. This weekend, as the girls moved into college, there was a war of photographs comparing dorm rooms.

Last football season, as Richard finished out his year on the offensive line, I was approached by a parent who said, “I pray that none of these boys ever gets injured, but I realize that my son is just one injury away from getting to play.” Translation: If your boy gets hurt, mine gets to start on Friday nights.

I have told you before about the time we were at a birthday party, and a friend said to me, “My wife is always complaining about our yard and griping because she’s embarrassed of what our neighbors think. When she does that, I just drive her past your house.”

A year after we were married, Vicki and I had some friends who invited us to their house for dinner. The after-dinner entertainment was a one-hour, narrated slide show about their vacation to the Caribbean. When we left their house, we drove in silence for several minutes, contemplating our camping trip to a local state park. Finally I said, “I hate the Caribbean.” And, we laughed all the way home. I wanted to ride back by their house and just give them the finger on the drive-by.

We get restless don’t we? And, we compare ourselves to others, don’t we? Why is this happening to me and not you? Why do you have and I don’t have? Why are your children over-achievers and mine don’t seem to care about today, much less tomorrow? Why am I having to care for my parents day-and-night? Why do I worry all the time? Why do we bicker all the time within our family? Why does life seem so easy for you and so difficult for me? Why do I feel jealous? Why do you seem so jealous? Why is your life so perfect? Why does my life stink?

I want to tell you something. No one’s life is perfect. None is righteous; no, not one. (Romans 3:10) Or, how about Romans 3:23: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." 1 Peter 5:10 says that only Jesus will eternally put us on a firm foundation. So, get this straight: No one is perfect. Not me, not you and not them; not anyone. No one's life is perfect. Don’t get into comparisons. I remember the story of Miss Kate, in Jesup, Ga., whose husband died without life insurance, whose children were all addicts, and whose house burned completely to the ground, leaving her a stranger living in a friend’s basement. Someone said, “Oh, Miss Kate, if only you could trade your life with someone else.” And, she said, “I would not trade my problems for anyone’s problems. I know my problems. Behind the mask, their problems may be worse than my own, and I know through my Savior that all my problems are just temporary anyway."

Today’s lesson is a reminder to find contentment with where you are. And, I want to use Philippians 4. In this passage, Paul is writing to the church at Phillipi, and he opens with instruction for two women who are bickering with one another. We don’t know why they are bickering, but let’s assume they are comparing children, or comparing homes, or comparing cornbread recipes. Maybe they are fussing over who is more prominent within the church. Maybe they are squabbling over theology. Whatever it is, I like to think they are comparing lives and opinions, and that leads to envy and jealousy.

Paul reminds them that (a) they both belong to the Lord; and (b) they must settle their disagreement (they can’t be in true fellowship with God, as believers, if they are ugly to one another). Paul says to the rest of the church that friends shouldn’t sit on the sidelines, but should be involved in bringing peace to these women. Because all the energy should be on matters of faith – not jealousy or envy or feeling sorry for yourself or comparing yourself to others.
And, knowing that we all share times and feelings of discontent, of comparing ourselves to others, of restlessness, or jealousy and envy, Paul gives us some very encouraging words in the rich, rich Scripture of Philippians 4:1-8.

1. "Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – Rejoice!" What? ? Are you crazy, Paul? In times of being angry and dispirited, I am supposed to be joyful? Yes. Consider that when Paul wrote this he was in prison - so he practiced what he preached.. Paul is saying that our inner attitudes should not be dependent on our outer circumstances, because no matter where we are – Jesus is with us. My son, Andrew, had a tough week this week. As he pulled out of the funk, he wrote, “When, I look in the rear view mirror of my life, I can see how God was with me in the times of joy and sorrow, and years from now when I look in the rear view mirror, I will see what I know is true – God is with me now.” This past week, even in tough circumstances, my boy did not let it change his inner perspective.
2. "Let everyone see that you are considerate in all that you do. Remember the Lord is coming soon." The most important thing you and I can do is protect our witness, and when we slink into the darkness of despair, envy, jealousy, and discontent it becomes very difficult to fully reflect the love we have for Jesus. In fact, I believe a person's spiritual growth is evidenced by how much they wallow in negatively, envy, jealousy and bitterness. We can’t get caught up in petty revenge and ugliness – it reflects that we really don’t love Jesus like we claim to love Him. And, others see that false witness we project. And, He is coming soon, and the world must know Him or be lost forever. We have to keep on mission despite the swirl around us.
3. You know this beautiful verse (v. 6): "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful that the human can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Many have delivered college-age children to schools this weekend, saying good-bye in very real ways to childhood. And, I don’t care who you are – when they leave home (even for college) there is worry, and there is some personal pain over the reshuffling of the family deck and its relationships. And, I know many of you are worried about your jobs, and most all of us are worried about the economy’s toll on our lives now and in the future, when we attempt to retire. But, Paul says, “Worry about nothing.” In fact, every time you feel the need to worry – turn that worry into prayer. Middle of the night? Don't take sleeping medicine; Get up and pray. The more you pray – the less you will worry. Philippians 4:7 says, “If you do this – pray over worry – you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." One more thing – Yes, God knows our problems without our prayers, but He wants us to come talk to Him about them. And, that’s what prayer is – talking to God about the concerns of our lives. He will listen, and is on call for us 24/7. No conversation with God is too small; if it troubles you and me – it troubles Him. True peace is not found in positive thinking, in the absence of conflict or in good feelings. True peace comes from knowing that God is in control.
4. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. What goes into your life will come out through your life. Each of us should take time to self-evaluate what we are putting into our lives. For me, I have moved away from the network sitcoms and reality shows to old movies on Turner Classic Movies. I have also replaced television with good books – good fiction, biographies, and the occasional devotion book. You may be at place where you need to reshuffle the deck of your friendships, especially if you can’t say ‘no’ to some of the places those friends are taking you. If you are distracted easily, like me, pray for God to keep you so busy in day-to-day service to others that you are too exhausted to do anything but sleep at the end of the day. Focus on the honorable and right; expect Jesus to come right now and find you honorable.

Mostly, today, I want you to know that it’s sinful to compare yourself to others, and put people in positions of comparing themselves to you. Live the life that God has given you, put all of your trust in His plans for you, and fully love and serve anyone and everyone He sends to you. In that, you will find peace in all of these very temporary circumstances.