Death causes us to pause

Throughout my 20-year newspaper career, at both small weekly and large daily newspapers, I became quite skilled at writing obituaries. Granted, there was a style format for writing them and some were very basic. But, often a family would provide extra information and I enjoyed helping tell a person’s story for the family, and sharing light on how the person lived his life. I especially enjoyed helping accentuate a person’s faith in Jesus and involvement in her local church. Sometimes, I would even call the family and ask them to give me more information about the loved one’s faith story.

Obituaries are important on two fronts: First, they are the final written record of a person’s life. I call them the semi-colon, separating the Earthly chapter from the Eternal chapter.

Obituaries should tell the story of a person’s journey. Second, obituaries are not for the immediate generation; obituaries are for the future generations who want to reach back and understand their family legacy. I tell people the obituary is for four generations away, and it’s important to help that generation understand family and faith.

Writing obituaries and death always causes me to pause and reflect on our human existence. When death comes knocking, it always serves as a wake-up call for me, forcing me to recognize death as a reality of our human existence. The closer death knocks to our lives, the more it causes us to face some realities and ask ourselves some questions.

First, we are reminded that we are frail, that we are a vapor. Psalm 39:5: “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.” And Psalm 102:3, “For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers.” And Psalm 144:4, “Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.”

When talking to my boys about the value of each day lived, I would breathe on the bathroom mirror and tell them, “What you see on the mirror is the total beginning-to-end of your life. What will you bring to this day? Order or chaos?”

How many times do we catch ourselves saying, “Where has time gone?” Each year, at Halloween, when I drag out all of my pirate gear and prepare for our church’s Halloween Carnival, I find myself saying to my Vicki, “Didn’t we just pull this stuff out yesterday?” and “Before we know it, Christmas will be here and gone.” I cannot believe three of my four boys are already in college. How did that happen? Time is fleeting.

Under the best of circumstances, we really have a very short existence here.

Secondly, death reminds us that it can come for you and me, and the ones we love, at any minute. And, so it begs us to be ready. Ecclesiastes 9:12 tells us, “People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.” And, Luke writes in his gospel, in 21:35, “For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth.” Luke is referring to the final judgment, but that judgment follows death and death will truly come to all who live on the face of the whole earth.

These two realities beg then the question: Am I ready to face my death?

I believe our readiness comes in two ways. First, and most important, we must be followers of Jesus. Secondly, we are wise to be connected to a fellowship of other believers.

Can you imagine, for one minute, death and tragedy coming to your life and being found (a) on the outside of faith doomed to an eternity without God’s love; and (b) facing tragedy without the love and support of other believers, pulling around you and lifting up your arms, carrying you and your family through it? I have to tell you, I think those who go at life alone are among the most ridiculously foolish people that I know. I hurt for them, and I want them to find faith and I want them to find the fellowship of other believers.

Being a part of this family of faith is not about sitting in a classroom as a spectator. Certainly, the weekly gathering through Sunday School is critically important because it’s what keeps us bound together. We recharge and refocus together with laughter and study together. But, beyond our weekly gathering, it’s through our relationship that we are able to put feet to faith, exercise our faith, and get our hands dirty in ministry toward an eternal impact.

Acts 2:42-44 relates to the early church and it also relates to our fellowship and to fellowships like ours. Luke writes, “All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (Scripture), and to fellowship (loving and serving), and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.” Then, look at verse 47, and they did all of this “while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.”

Doesn’t that sound just like what we are experiencing as a fellowship of believers? Well, minus the Lord’s Supper, but we can take that if we choose to do it. Absolutely, it does. And, what convicts me is that God loves sending people into that kind of fellowship. So, we must be faithful in our journey with God, alongside God, waiting on God, and leaning on God. Because it’s through the fellowship of believers that people come to know Jesus; it’s through the fellowship that each of us is strengthened by the Holy Spirit in our daily walk.

I hurt for those who make a conscious decision to avoid real involvement in the fellowship of believers, whether the church at large, a group like ours, or both. Personally, I choose both and encourage you to do that, too.

But, before a person can embrace this community spirit, that larger issue stands as bold and rugged as Calvary’s cross. A person must first be a believer before they can fully join a fellowship of believers. Sure, people can join our class and discover Jesus through it. Some have. We celebrate that. But, in the long run – we are likely to share a thread in that we have made a confident confession of Jesus as our personal Savior from God’s wrath upon sin. Attendance at a church property will never save anyone. Only that confident confession of Jesus as Savior will actually save a person.

Our lives don’t end with the grave. The grave simply launches a new chapter of our eternal existence. For those who love Jesus, Romans 8:38-39 remind us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. While nothing separates us from the love of God, we have to know Jesus as our Savior in order to have that blessed assurance. Life without Jesus is bad enough. (A life without Jesus is wasted; you can never fully know the depth of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control – Galatians 5:22-23.) But, imagine life without Jesus on the other side of death’s door. That place we call hell, leading to the lake of fire, is the eternal no-second-chance penalty for a life lived without Jesus. It is a place more awful than the human mind can fathom.

And, yet, some people foolishly choose chaos over peace.  John 14:6, the apostle quotes Jesus saying, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” And Matthew 7:13, the apostle quotes Jesus this way: “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.” What does that say? We must be confidently confessing followers of Jesus; our lives must reflect that we love Jesus; our words must reflect that we know Him; and we must acknowledge our secret places of self-love and not brag about or worship those times (repentance). Our lives cannot be about what the world calls important, but what God calls important – loving Him, loving others, and helping others discover Jesus. That marks the believer.

Death causes me to ante up. Where am I in pursuing a closer relationship with the Savior that I claim to love? Occasionally, I still find myself very broken before the Lord, knowing I’ve let my life slip into the ditch, knowing I’ve disappointed my Savior, and knowing He is weeping over my words and decisions. I have found, personally, in those times of brokenness, a sweet, sweet peace as I draw closer to Jesus.

Death is a wake-up call. It’s a reality check. 

As believers, we must call each day precious and ask, “Am I ready to face death and spend eternity with Jesus? Am I surrounded by a family of faith – a close network of other believers? Who’s life will be better because I lived this short existence? Who will enter the gates of heaven because they saw and heard Jesus through me? Anyone? No one? Someone? Everyone? I pray, it’s everyone.