Why do people join Christian Communities?

Everyone on the planet is a part of a community – or a group of people – even if it’s involuntary as in being a member of a family. But, beyond family, most people will join one or more groups. Why do people join groups? Why do people join Christian Communities - churches, small groups, Sunday School classes?

First, a bit of social psychology
In 2008, Michael Hogg, Zachary Hohman and Jason Rivera published a social-psychological report about this very topic. Why do people join groups? Here are three reasons they discovered:

1. The Sociometer Model. This model argues that people have a need to belong, and that self-esteem is a meter of successful group belonging. Have you ever seen those resumes or introductions that list a person’s group involvement going back to college or high school? Greater inclusion in groups equates to higher self-esteem.
2. The Terror Management Theory. This theory asserts that people join groups to reduce their fears of death and that groups provide “safety in numbers” and “shared beliefs.” It’s comforting to be with others who share the same world view and to hear similar views that provide a sense of meaningful existence. 
3. The Uncertainty-Identity Theory. This theory argues that people have a need to reduce uncertainty about themselves and their place in the world, and that group identification reduces that security. Who am I and Do I Matter? 

Hogg, Hohman and Rivera argue that each of these - in part - can be involved in a person’s decision to join a group, but that most people who join groups fall into the Uncertainty-Identity Theory category while searching for the meaning of life: I want to matter to someone; I want my life to count for something.

I believe we have people who join Christian Communities for each of the above reasons.

• Sociometer: "My neighbors get up and go to church therefore I need to go to church. If I don't go to church, and my neighbors do, I am 'falling behind' my neighbors."
• Terror Management: "The world is big and I am small, and there is safety in numbers. I will join a church so that if bad things happen to me I will be surrounded by people who can help me." Or, "If I don't connect to a church, bad things will happen to me. God is there; the bogey-man is out here. I don't want the bogey-man to get me."
• Uncertainty-Identity: "I need to be a part of something larger than myself so I will identify with a group. Churches are full of good people, I am a good person - I can find my place in the world at church."

There's another reason that I run into periodically. I call it The Business Networking Model: "I am in sales and service, and there are a lot of potential customers gathered at the church under one roof. This will be like shooting fish in a barrel." (Don't laugh, I have seen this ilk come and go, come and go, come and go throughout my life.)

But, NONE of the above is why followers of Jesus come to a church.

The reason that 70-80 percent of North American churches, including most steeple churches, are in decline is because we have approached church believing people join it like Hogg, Hohman and Rivera talk about groups. 

We have said things like, “Come and belong here” or “Find sanctuary here” or “Find your place in the world here” and while we all agree that, yes, those are relevant messages – they are only relevant messages after someone has repented of sin and confessed Jesus as Savior.

Consider this:

• People are made in the image of a Sovereign, Powerful, Almighty, Omniscient, Omnipotent God, who knows all, sees all, hears all at the same time for everyone and sorts it out. When I consider the mind-warping magnitude of God, I think of the Book of Isaiah, which the prophet fills with descriptions of God. Read Isaiah 66:1: "Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool . . . My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the Lord have spoken." EVERYTHING is God's - you and me, and everything we claim to own.  Does that sound like anything of this Earth? What about Isaiah 40:18-26, where God hangs the stars and calls them each by name, forgetting not a single one? Supernatural. Wind-warping. 
• Return with me to Acts 2, Peter says in v. 17 . . . In the last days, God said, “I will pour out my spirit upon all people." This sovereign God pours out His spirit (The Holy Spirit) upon all people, inviting people to (v. 21) call on the name of Jesus. "And, anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." God, through the Spirit, calls each man, woman, boy and girl to be saved through the sacrifice of His son. Again, Supernatural.
• Now, got to Acts 2:43-47, Luke writes: "Believers were added, by God, to the church."

The church - including church groups like our class - are Supernatural entities formed by a Supernatural God, who is Sovereign over all the Earth and to whom every man, woman, boy and girl will one day be accountable. And, as people come to know Jesus as Savior, God adds "the believers" to the church. And, Acts 2:44 says these believers "shared life together." They sacrificed and poured into one another. No where - not one place in Scripture - is the life of a believer defined by sitting and watching others do the work of the church.

People may join booster clubs, hunting clubs, book clubs, garden clubs, charities, card-playing clubs, neighborhood associations, and professional organizations. But, people do not join churches. God adds believers to churches. That's why you will always hear me say to people, "Be where God sends you; be and do what God calls you to do."

Today's problem

Today, friends, we have people who have penetrated the North American church as they do all kinds of other Earthly organizations, and they have warped the frame of the church. We now have consumer churches, where people come for their own benefit, to sit and listen and consume information. For these consumers, all you hear them talk about is how church has "made my life better" or "I am fed at that church." That consumerism attitude - "it's for me and about me" is the ultimate sin, turning the Supernatural work of a Holy God into something sinfully self-serving.

The church is a Supernatural group that trumps every group in your life. Attendance and membership is not something to be taken lightly, and I argue won’t be taken lightly by those who know and follow Jesus, are sent by the Holy Spirit  to join the church and who are tangibly working to share life with one another.

Where are you? Regardless of your spouse, or your friends, where are you?

Do you know Jesus as your Savior? Can you point to a mile marker on your life and say, “Here, right here, is where I surrendered my life to the risen Savior.” And, then can you point to a second mile marker and say, “Right here is where I joined with xyz church because it’s where I knew to my core that God was sending me.” And, can you say, clearly, right here, this “is where I saw the church differently – not for what I got from it, but what I gave to it. And, I am now giving to it."

Last . . .
Do you know why, in church, 20 percent of the people do 80 percent of the work?

In the booster club, we call it laziness or just being sorry when 80 percent of the people watch 20 percent do all the work, but in the church we call it what it is . . . lostness or living without a Savior. Lost people latch onto a church as a social organization content in watching others do all the work . . . for them. I believe it is impossible to know Jesus without connecting to a church, and without being involved in that church. Because, what God sends you to do (the church), The Spirit will cause you to be restless until you are doing it. You cannot sit idle in a church and be filled with the Spirit that comes from salvation. That kind of restlessness would be unbearable.

As St. Augustine said, "You awaken us to delight in your praise; for you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.” The measure of your restlessness for the things of God may be a sign of your fellowship – or lack thereof – with God.

What is Christian Community?

What is Christian Community?

A community is a group of people, living in the same place, feeling a sense of fellowship as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests and goals.

What is fellowship? It’s a friendly association around shared interests.

Within these definitions, a Christian Community is really a gathering of believers – people who have repented of sin and live as followers of Jesus – within the same geographic area, in friendly association, and sharing interests – interests like evangelism, fellowship, baptism, missions, ministry, and discipleship.

What did Jesus do when He began His ministry? Look at Matthew 4:18-22. Jesus called two sets of brothers to be his disciples. And, that grew to 12. And, these men, and probably others who not as set apart, traveled with Jesus. They became a Christian Community. They were connected; they were involved in life together.

Now, we turn to Acts 1 – the disciples are now referred to as the apostles. They are still together. In chapter 2, following Pentecost, Peter launches into his famous sermon to the people, where in v. 40, “Peter continued preaching for a long time, strongly urging all his listeners, ‘Save yourselves from this generation that has gone astray.’” Beginning in v. 43, “(then at the close of Peter's sermon) a deep sense of awe came over them all” and v. 45 “they sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshipped each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity – all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And, each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.” Do you see the community in that – people engaged in life together?

Christian Community took a giant step forward, and what was born then continues today through the Universal church, through the Baptist denomination, through Lexington Baptist Church, and into our Sunday School class. We, in this class, we, are a Christian Community. We live in the same place, we share lives – highs and lows – that are generally similar, and our interests and goals – sociologically – would be very similar.

Now we go over to Acts 6. The community was rapidly multiplying, and there were rumblings of discontent. Those who spoke Greek complained. Those who spoke Hebrew complained. The Greek-speaking Jews said their wives were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food. So, the disciples called a meeting. They said, “It is insane for us to be administering a food program. We should be teaching and preaching the word of God.” So, a committee was formed, and this committee was anointed to judge. Organization occurred, giving us a glimpse of the community's seriousness. One of these on the committee was Stephen.

Stephen was arrested and then he preached a lengthy sermon, infuriated the Jewish temple leaders, and was stoned to death. This launched a season of persecution against the church, but guess what – it didn’t dissolve the church; persecution strengthened the church. The community was strengthened by adversity and persecution. Forged by fire. That is a central theme to following Jesus – persecution and adversity leads to a deeper faith.

I was about 12, and was at home alone one evening – my parents had gone to dinner and a movie – and my brothers were at my cousin’s house. A prisoner on a Georgia chain gang escaped and was on the loose in our rural part of the county. Of course, I had no idea, but my granddaddy called and told me to get my things ready – he was coming to get me. And, he did. And, back in his house, I watched as our little community came together. Everyone turned all their lights on, men loaded their guns, some women loaded their guns, conversations took place by telephone – back and forth.

I had seen all these people come together in the Brookwood Baptist Church cemetery, just up the road, when someone died. But, this was different. This was sharing life in a different kind of way – in fear and trouble. Arm-in-arm, shared geography, shared ideology, shared commitment to family, and looking out for one another. (Community looks out for one another).

My grandfather suddenly realized that his renters, who lived in a remote house he owned down at the end of his farm, had no telephone. They did not know the potential crisis at hand. And, so he and my uncle Coy, and cousin Billy, drove down to the rental house, and brought the family back to my grandfather’s house.
It was community. To this kind of commitment and caring for one another, we lay the layer of Christianity.

Now, it’s possible for you and me to be involved in Christian Community that overlaps several different churches in Lexington. Not all of my Christian friends attend Lexington Baptist Church. Within the worldwide Universal church of Christ, I am in a macro community all of these believers – all over the world.

For the purposes of our discussion this fall, we will look specifically at our Christian Community – this Sunday School class, primarily. And, why membership and participation are important. In fact, we are going to look toward a new chapter in January 2014, building a database of everyone's spiritual gifts, skills, hobbies and interests. Beginning in 2014, what we do together is going to look and feel different, moving into really being community the way the New Testament calls us to be. We are going to be on this journey together and invite people to join us.

And, yes, we are going to talk about formal membership. Yes, we are going to stress membership because in Acts 2:41, “Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to that community. They joined with the other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship.”

That’s the earliest statement of the earliest “church” as we know it. People were added and they joined, and a byproduct of that was devotion.  Devotion is defined this way: “Love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity or cause.” You and I will quickly say, we are devoted to family, but when’s the last time you and I claimed devotion to Jesus and to His prescribed Christian Community? Get ready. Be praying now about your future with this class. Membership and Devotion – not to me – but to Jesus and to His people will be an expectation . . . as it should be for all those involved in Christian Community.

Does anybody know this guy?

By Chuck Cordovano

Does anybody know this guy?

This is 19 year old Joey Prusak, a manager at a Hopkins, MN Dairy Queen.  Tuesday, a week ago, a regular customer, a man visually impaired, came into his store and dropped a $20 bill.  An elderly female customer picked up the bill and put it in her pocket.

Joey served the man and, when the female who picked up the money tried to place her order, Joey asked her to return the $20 bill.

According to the TheBlaze.com:

Prusak took matters into his own hands.
“She walked up to the counter and I asked her to please return the $20 bill to the gentleman. She looked at me like ‘what are you talking about,’” Prusak said, recounting the incident to TheBlaze. “I asked her again to return it and she said, ‘No, it’s mine I just dropped it.’ I told her I’m not going to serve you if you are going to be disrespectful as you are stealing someone’s money like that.”
The woman then allegedly became disorderly and began cursing at Prusak, who remained both firm and polite.
“She started getting really angry … started swearing and whatnot. I stayed relatively calm; I deal with customers on a daily basis. She kept swearing though and I asked her to leave the store. I told her if you aren’t going to return the money, you need to leave right now.”
She then “stormed out,” Prusak said.
“What happened next I would have never expected,” an anonymous customer wrote to Dairy Queen, which was later posted on Reddit, sending the story viral. “Your employee approached the young man and took out his wallet and said, ‘Sir, on behalf of Dairy Queen, I would like to give you the $20 that you happened to drop on the ground as you walked away from the counter.’”
“I was in shock by the generosity that your employee had, taking his own money out of his own wallet to give to the customer because some other lady decided to steal something that wasn’t hers,” the customer continued in the letter.
Prusak said it was the right thing to do.
Well, this boy is all over the news for doing the right thing!

I guess that’s the world we live in.

Years ago, when I was a Methodist, before I was immersed through grace to become a Southern Baptist, I attended a church study group.  An older gentleman in the group was convinced the world was coming to an end based on all the bad things happening in the world.  I told him that bad things have always happened in the world, we just see more of them today.

Occasionally, we even get to see the good things in the world…

God wants good things for us.

This lesson started out as a discussion of love and I believe through Jesus we have a new covenant with the father based on love.  But, anyone who speaks publicly or preaches, or teaches Sunday School goes through a process to write a speech or develop a sermon, or create a lesson.  For Christians that involves prayer and soul searching and listening for the Holy Spirit to nudge you in one direction or another.  For me, it also requires a lot of research.  As those of you who try and share with the class know, what you want to say, and where God takes you in the process, are sometimes two different things.

Pastor Mike’s lessons on worship and how we worship and why we are called to worship as well as our lessons here, from Scott, and our discussions on serving others within our Sunday School  class have weighed on me this week.  So, I start out looking at “love” in my Life Application Bible and on line and I’m led to Romans 12: 9-21:

“ 9 Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. 13 When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or, if they need lodging, for the night. 14 If people persecute you because you are a Christian, don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don't try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. 19 Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord. 20 Instead, do what the Scriptures say: "If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you." 21 Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.”  NLT

Just getting to Romans 12: 9-21 wasn’t enough . . . I had to put that into context so I had to back up to verses 1-8:

“1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice -- the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? 2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. 3 As God's messenger, I give each of you this warning: Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you. 4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ's body. We are all parts of his one body, and each of us has different work to do. And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others. 6 God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out when you have faith that God is speaking through you. 7 If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, do it! If you have money, share it generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”  NLT

What do I find out about Romans 12?  Well, I find that Romans was written by Paul to both Jews and Gentiles in Rome.  It is an outline for living a Christian live and is as relevant for us today as when Paul wrote it to the Roman Church.

As we search for ways our class can learn to share our problems with one another and love each other better; be better Christians generally, Paul gives us this outline in Romans 12.

• Give yourself to God daily – think of what Christ has done for you and give sacrificially
• Don’t fall into the traps of this world and allow God to change you by changing the way you think
• Be honest with yourself
• Find your gift and give back
• Don’t just pretend to love others – really love them – genuinely love
• Stand up to what is wrong
• Work hard and be patient in hardship
• Keep praying
• Help God’s people
• Be hospitable
• Don’t curse people, bless them
• Share sorrow and happiness with others
• Live harmoniously with people, enjoy their company
• Don’t be a know it all
• NEVER pay back evil to anyone, live honorable
• Live in peace with others
• NEVER avenge yourselves, leave that to God
• If your enemies are hungry feed them
• Don’t let evil get the best of you, conquer evil by doing good

19 year old Joey Prusak seems to have it about right.

Where are you?

I want to speak to the little boy or little girl inside each of us. I want to peel back the thick, cumbersome layers of adulthood that we pile on to mask our thoughts, feelings and emotions. I want to speak to the child in you – the innocent child that Jesus refers to when He says, in Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come to me.” The little child who is afraid of the dark, afraid of thunderstorms, hates it when his parents fight, and does not understand why people don’t want to be her friend. Inside all of us, beneath the life-worn exterior of machismo and pride that child still lives within us. And, Jesus still speaks to that child: "Come."

In helping us understand God and the heavens, well-meaning adults pointed to the blue skies and white clouds and said, heaven is there and God lives in heaven. Even the Bible, in Isaiah 40:22, says God stretches out the heavens. We grew up with this idea that God is "up there" somewhere - somewhere far away. People stand in worship, face and arms lifted high, and for some they seem to be reaching upward to . . . somewhere. And, if we dig a hole deep enough, we'll come to a place called hell and the devil lives "down there." Good is up; bad is down. You've probably seen the old cartoons that reinforce this with an elevator. God is up there - far away - looking down on our lives and waiting on a few of us to join Him in the clouds when we die.

As a 12-year-old boy, I was hurting in 1971. I had a good life, lots of baseball, big farm to play on, parents who loved me, grandparents living just next door and they loved me, and all was well. When my grandmother died in 1971, as death often does to survivors, life got reshuffled. Nothing was the same. And, I was hurting. I've told the story many times: To ease the hurting, I used $10 of my birthday money to purchase a Bible, had my name stamped on it, and began reading it. Not long after, our pastor, Roger Williams, came to our Sunday evening Bible Study. He asked each of us (students) to be prepared to stand and read a favorite Bible verse in that evening's worship service. 

I didn't have a verse. I wanted to shout out, "My life is upside down right now. God is far away in those clouds up there. I don't even want to be here tonight. Leave me alone!"

As I sat in worship, between my parents, Roger asked we young people to stand and read our verses. I didn't have a verse. As other children stood and read, I stared at my Bible. It might as well have been a rock - literally. Then, I opened it and the words of Joshua 1:9 jumped off that page at me, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." It was like a wave of peace flooded through me and over me. I stood and read that verse. Then, I sat down, buried my head in my mama's shoulder, and began to cry. God was not far away; God was right there. And, I knew it. 

As a follower of Jesus, God had spoke that verse into my broken heart, reminding me that He is not an absentee God, far away in story-book clouds. For those who love Him through Jesus, broken under the strain of life, He reaches out through the Holy Spirit in a supernatural way, and says, “Anchor your life in me. I will always be with you. Always. I will be with you wherever life takes you. Even in the darkest, loneliest, most confusing places – I am there.”

Most of us know that God is right here with us. But, that hopeful message slips away. We forget it. We ignore it. We wander away. I have lived a life full of valleys, some very deep, and in each of them, I still look toward the heavens and think, “Where is God in all this? Why does He seem so far away from me.” I completely forget Joshua 1:9 and all the other reminders in Scripture: God is right here. And, while I am saying, “Where are you, God?” God is saying, Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Come to me. 

While I am busy asking, "Where are you, God?" God is responding with, "Scott, I am here. Where are you? Come to me. I will give you rest." God is waiting on me and you to come to Him.

What’s wrong with me – what’s wrong with you – what’s wrong with us – that we can’t hold onto that truth? What’s wrong with our faith that we are tossed around like a rag doll in the wind? What's wrong?

God isn't fun.
I am reminded of the family that learns their child will suffer with a disease for his entire life. The child will never know the same life experienced by the neighborhood children. And, how does the family respond? Do they run to God? No, they post Facebook photographs, showing drunken parties. They say, without saying, "God, I just want to be normal and have fun. You aren't fun, God. I don't want to deal with anything 'heavy' like religion. I just want to escape the pain." And, their hearts grow cold toward the only one who can bring them peace.

God isn't convenient

I am reminded of the man who was invited to join other men on a mission trip to North Dakota. He stared back across the table and said, "Well, that ain't happening. Hell will freeze over before I do that." He failed to realize that this wasn't a friend who was inviting him to be on mission - it was Holy God extending that invitation through another believer. Each and every day, God is inviting us to join Him in a work to improve the lives of other people. But, we say, "God, you are so inconvenient. I have plans. I have goals. I have vacation time reserved for me. My children need me at every single ballgame for the rest of their lives. My life can't function without ME. Don't get in my way, God. You are an inconvenience." And, their hearts grow cold toward the only one who can bring them joy.

God isn't forgiving

I am reminded of the woman whose past came rushing up to meet her one day. Poor mistakes as a young woman were being lived out through her children. She said, "God, I know you are punishing me. I am not worthy to walk with you. I want to get things 'right' with you, but I am so unworthy. My chance is over." Feeling blighted, scarred and beyond repair, she had come to a place where she felt God no longer cared for her. And, her heart grew cold toward the only one who could bring her hope.

These are just three examples. I could write 100 more and many would apply directly to me. We turn and run from God, and then we ask, "Where is God?" And, God asks, "Scott, where are you? Where have you gone?"

For Jesus followers, God is right here - beside you, over you, under you, inside you - all the time. And He is constantly speaking, constantly calling you to serve, constantly calling you toward change, constantly reminding you that Jesus came to save and not condemn (John 3:17). But, our hearts have been hardened by the valleys; our hearts have grown cold toward love, peace, joy and hope. We can't hear God. We have listened to bank accounts, the counsel of unbelievers, family calendars, and the false belief that we are responsible for the happiness of our children. We wander, lost, hurting, confused . . . like little children afraid of the dark, but paralyzed to get out of the bed and turn on the light.

And, some of you can't hear from God because you don't know His son as your Savior. Only through Jesus, can you hear God's call to peace, love and hope. Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). Have you made that commitment? Have you said, “I can’t do it anymore all by myself; I’m tired of it. I need Jesus.” If so, have you told others? Because you can’t keep the light under a bushel – it’s impossible. Have you been baptized in front of family and friends – maybe not in a big church service, but have you made that public statement of faith? Do people know that you know Jesus? Only you can answer that, but I promise you that you will never, never know the peace that comes through God until you acknowledge Jesus, surrender to Him, confess Him to others publicly, and allow your heart to be massaged by Jesus' comforting words: "But those who drink the water that I give will never be thirsty again." (John 4:14). 

Where is God? Where is God in the restlessness of our lives? 

Where are you? God is here. Where are you?

Make a decision today. Make a decision to surrender your life completely to Jesus, and if you have already done so, make the decision to step from life’s confusion and uncertainty, and hear from God: Do not be afraid, I am here. I am sovereign. I am God.

Tender heartedness

Richard and I were in Walmart recently, looking for an electric ice cream freezer. We were browsing through the small appliances when speeding out of an aisle came a little boy – maybe 4 – on a tricycle. He stopped, gave us a grin, and then sped off. We chuckled at the unexpected scene, and kept shopping. You just don't expect to get run down by a tricycle in Walmart.

In a few minutes, the little boy came slowly driving by, this time a more concerned look on his face. He was looking around, and Richard said, “I don’t think he can find his parents.”

Unable to find the ice cream freezer, I said, “Well, let’s go try Target.” Richard said, “I’m not leaving here until I make sure that little boy has found his parents.” And, Richard began to follow the boy on the tricycle, keeping his distance but keeping an eye on him.

About 10 minutes later, my 6-5 son joined me at the front of the store, “His mama found him in the shoes. I've seen that look in her eye. He's probably going to get a spanking.”

I propose to you that the Holy Spirit nudged Richard to care for the little boy, and that Richard was obedient to slow his life down and follow that nudging. And, in doing so, demonstrated a measure of tender-heartedness toward the situation. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:31 . . . “believers are to get rid of bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior and instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” We show tender-heartedness when we are kind, caring and forgiving of one another. Our hearts are tender to the needs of others. Further, we are tender-hearted when we are wide-eyed to the needs of others, slow our lives down to serve, and then practice kindness, caring and forgiveness.

For believers, tender-heartedness is not an option. In being tender-hearted, we are replicating how Jesus loves us, accepting His kindness, sacrifice, and forgiveness, and paying that forward to others, including strangers. We are following Jesus when we practice tender-heartedness.

But, let's take it step further. Because many, many good people - who don't follow Jesus - do good things for others. Community service organizations and philanthropies have churned out tender-hearted people for years and years. Most people, I believe, practice a measure of tender-heartedness, especially toward family and friends. In fact, any unbeliever could have responded - and may have responded - just as Richard did in Walmart.

At lunchtime on Friday, I met with three other men in our community for a time of prayer. We were from four different churches though that was not planned. One of the men, a runner, shared that every day he runs 2-3 miles. Along this journey, he often sees a neighbor and they wave at one another. Recently, my friend said his neighbor was at the mailbox when he ran by, and they actually spoke. Something in the neighbor’s eyes caused my friend to stop, turn around, and walk back for a handshake and an introduction. The neighbor then began to cry. His marriage was falling apart. My friend said his heart literally broke for his neighbor and ministry followed. “I pray this leads to a conversation about Jesus,” my friend said. “He may know Jesus, but I want to make sure; perhaps He just needs to turn back to Jesus.”

This is what it really means to be tenderhearted as a follower of Jesus. We see beyond the Earthly pain to the spiritual pain. We look for opportunities to build relationship with people toward a goal of talking to some about faith. Tenderheartedness, I propose, for the believer, is about pouring into a person's Earthly pain toward a goal of easing that person's spiritual pain.

In Matthew 11:25-30, Jesus talks about His own heart. It's one of the only times in Scripture when Jesus does this. In this passage, Jesus says that we will approach Him like (tender-hearted) children - unjaded and innocent. He calls Himself simple and gentle (tenderhearted) and in connecting with people that way, some find salvation and its peace through Him.

You and I are called to make disciples - not just to be good people. Being tender-hearted is the way we build relationship toward faith conversations. Many people do good things for others. Our heart breaks for those who struggle, who are lonely, who are hurting, whose marriages are crumbling, whose children are sick, who need a friend, and who need a cold cup of water. I am a tender-hearted person. My radar goes up for those kinds of needs, and I love to respond to people – often very privately.

But, as a believer, I’m not finishing the race if I just ease the Earthly pain. As I pour into a person, I’ve got to be looking downfield with a goal to talk about Jesus – to talk about my faith. Did you know that only about 50 percent of confessing Christians believe they have a responsibility to share their faith with others? That means 50 percent believe it’s someone else’s responsibility. That’s research from the Barna Group - a leader in research among evangelicals. Research from Campus Crusades for Christ suggests that only 2 percent of believers share their faith. This research speaks loudly about the condition of our hearts toward others and toward Jesus. If it's not our responsibility to share faith with others, whose responsibility is it? Do we honestly believe we can follow Jesus on the one hand and never discuss Him on the other? Impossible.

Those who share their faith, those who have a burden to share their faith, are those who are tenderhearted – tenderhearted to the gospel – tenderhearted toward following Jesus. Those who don’t – those who don’t feel the burden – are growing or have grown hard-hearted toward Jesus – even if their actions toward others include random acts of kindness, hospital visits and chicken casseroles.

So, how do we share our faith with others? It's not something I have a lot of experience with, but I am intentionally focusing my life on being more tender-hearted toward the gospel and toward others. Here are some of my thoughts and discoveries:

1. Be confident that you are a confessing follower of Jesus. It’s one thing to be saved; it’s another thing to claim that Jesus is Lord of your life and that you are following Him. Those who follow Jesus will find it impossible to ignore talking about Him. In the way that I love my boys and talk about them from that pool of love, I will likewise find it impossible to love Jesus and not talk about Him.
2. Practice using the name of Jesus. This has worked for me. It was uncomfortable at first because it draws a line in the relationship sand. Using the name of Jesus - as opposed to "the Lord" as if he's a faraway king - forces others to react. Some will be repulsed by the name of Jesus, but I'm learning that the name of Jesus opens unbelievable doors for ministry and my life is blessed because of my response to Him.
3. What do I say about Jesus? What are the right words to say? Do I need to search for words to talk about my Vicki or my boys? No. There are no right and holy words to recite. As you are asked about your faith, you tell your story with Jesus. You tell how your life was before, how you came to be broken by your sin, and what life is like now. Need help with your story? Click here.
4. What if people want to argue? Don’t. I never argue. I don’t have to argue. I can’t save someone from sin. My responsibility is to be tender-hearted, love people, want people to know Jesus, and talk about Him. The Holy Spirit will go to work and some will respond. Some will not respond. I'm not judged by God based on how others respond to Jesus. My calling is to be obedient in talking about Him and reflecting Him in my life.
5. What if people have questions that I can’t answer? That’s cool. You say, 'I don’t know all the answers. I’ll do some research and get back to you.' I use this website to help me with my own questions and to answer the questions of others: www.gotquestions.org. People are more likely to listen if you impress them by working to get answers.
6. What if someone says they want me to pray for them? Do it. Again, there are no "right words." The Holy Spirit will give you the words. They may be awkward, but they will not sound that way to the one needing to hear them. Honestly, I've prayed some of the most bungled-up prayers and when I finished the other person was in tears. So, it wasn't me - it was the Holy Spirit speaking to them. Remember, we are talking about supernatural matters here. You and I are just vessels through which the Spirit communicates.
7. What if someone says ‘What must I do to be saved?’ – If you declare with your mouth that “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead to be your Savior from the worship of self, you will be saved. Romans 10:9. Read the book of Romans. It will change your life and empower you to be bold with others.
8. Pray daily for God to send hurting people into your life. Give them cool water to ease the pain of the Earthly journey, and be prepared to help them drink the eternal water that only comes from Jesus. I promise that once you become tender-hearted to both men and to the sharing of the gospel, your life will be completely different. And, in that alteration comes unbelievable peace and joy.

When good people have hard hearts

People should be able to see a difference between those who follow Jesus and those who don’t. People should be able to clarify between a "good, Christian person" and a person who follows Jesus. 

Many people - most people actually - are good, honest, hard-working people who vote in all the elections, love their family and friends, attend church regular and prepare chicken casseroles when a friend has fallen ill. But, all of that does not make them a follower of Jesus. It is possible and very much a reality that many, many "good Christian people" do not know Jesus as Savior and many who do aren't following Him.

So, as God leads me into this study of hard heartedness, I want to look closely at "good people with hard hearts." Just as a reminder, hard heartedness does not mean mean or wicked. It means hard or cold to building relationships through which Jesus can be shared.

As many of you know, Vicki’s mama is in very poor health. Mrs. Bowen lived here in Lexington until January, when we moved her to Gainesville, GA where she could live with and be cared for by Vicki's sister, Kathy. Mrs. Bowen loved to cook. A big part of her identity was her cooking. But, as her physical and mental health deteriorated she could no longer cook anything. So, Vicki and were left with Mrs. Bowen's expensive mixers, bowls, pots and pans, and boxes of very good kitchen gadgets.

Vicki and I are good people. We love Jesus, we love our family, we are faithful to the church, we vote in all the elections, we pay our taxes, we work hard, and we don't live on credit - we generally pay cash for everything. But, now comes the question: What should we do with Mrs. Bowen's stuff? For that matter, what should we do with all of the stuff that used to be in our two outdoor sheds? In those sheds, we had some pretty high-quality stuff, including top-of-the-line baby furniture that had survived four boys and could survive four more. What should we do with expensive dresses and suits that we no longer wear? 

Some might say, "Let's have yard sale!" That would allow us to turn stuff into profit. But, who does that serve? Ultimately, self wins.

Some might say, "Let's donate it to a non-profit that resells the items very cheaply." That would be easy. And, it would benefit some . . . but it might not benefit those trying to rub two nickels together to produce dinner.

Jesus would say, "Open your eyes to families in your community and give your life away to those who need the stuff, and give it away with no strings attached." And, so that's what Vicki and I are systematically doing. The baby furniture and accessories have made their way to families experiencing crisis pregnancy, and to young and struggling couples. We've given some of Mrs. Bowen's cooking stuff to young people who are just starting out and need to outfit a kitchen.

The hard-hearted would say, "Oh, no! That's too much trouble. How do you know they really deserve it? How do you know they aren't turning around and selling your stuff at the flea market? That welfare bunch should have to pay something - they have to pay their way!" And, there my friends is the real rub of it. That's why it is so difficult to follow Jesus. Because though we believers live good and honest lives, Jesus says that even the ungodly live good lives. Jesus is calling us to live completely and radically different from the ungodly.

Look at Ephesians 4:17-19. In this passage, Paul makes some very strong statements: "Live no longer like the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against Him. They have no sense of shame. They live for their own pleasure and practice every kind of impurity."

Let me talk to you about traffic. I was in the Chick-fil-a drive through last Monday with what seemed like 500 of my closest friends. It was insane. The Cathy family can make a chicken sandwich, but they can't design buildings and have no concept of traffic flow. I was in Chick-fil-a gridlock hell. An elderly woman had unwittingly parked so that she blocked the drive-through release and was stuck in the drive-through line. She couldn't move. People began blowing their horns and some rolled down their windows and started shouting at her. I sat by the drive-through window, drinking my diet lemonade.

Then, I saw a solution. I got out of the van and approached her. She was white with panic. I told her that I would stop traffic so that she could get out and release the gridlock. All I had to do was stop one car, she pulled out, and everything began working more smoothly. But, as I raised my hand to stop that one car, the driver looked at me in disgust because she didn't understand. Then, she saw what was happening, she smiled, nodded her head in the affirmative and all was well.

Now, here's the thing.

Those who did nothing but blow their horns and yell at the poor lady were hard of heart toward the gospel. I'm sure many of them are really good people 99 percent of the time. A few may know Jesus. But, at that moment, their hearts were hardened to the gospel. They did not value the relationship with the woman as Jesus would have. They valued a chicken sandwich and a hurry-up-to-be-somewhere attitude more than they valued that woman. Their hearts were hard. There's no way they could have been of value to the Kingdom in that moment, and that saddens our Savior.

But, even the nice woman who stopped for me and patiently waited was hard of heart, too. Why? Because even though she stopped when prompted, her heart was hardened not to see the opportunity. I suggest to you that her heart was not as hard as others because she came quickly to tenderness, but she is an example of how easily it is to toggle between good and bad, and how good people can become hard hearted. And in that instance, opportunity for relationship-building is forfeited.

As I was convicted of all this - because I'm guilty, too, for daily moments of hard heartedness - I suddenly found myself in the mindset of allowing anyone and everyone to turn in front of me in traffic. In fact, I spent the rest of the week, stopping for people to turn in front of me in traffic.

The hard of heart would say, "No! It's my turn!"

The hard of heart would say, "I've got somewhere important to be! Out of my way!"

The hard of heart would say, "Scott, I can see helping the old lady at Chick-fil-a, but I can't see letting everyone turn in front of you for an entire week."

Really? What do you think it means when Jesus says in Matthew 16:24:  “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways (deny your self), take up your cross (take up your own burden) and follow me (because I’m going to take care of you.)” 

You see, we really don't believe that. We believe, "\God takes care of those who care for themselves." Well, hmmm, that phrase is not in Proverbs. That phrase is attributed to Benjamin Franklin, who most likely extracted it from Aesop's Fables.

No, you and I are to be unconcerned for self, completely putting all of our lives, hopes, dreams and goals into the hands of God through the Savior who loves us. And, as we do that, we are to be wide-eyed, open-minded and tender hearted to helping every single person on this planet above self and without prejudice. Do they deserve it? None of us deserves the sacrifice on Calvary, and so let's start there when we talk about what people deserve. When you can't love every single person above self, the end result is a heart that hardens to the gospel.

Do well today by others. You will find that as you do, your heart will become tender to the peace, joy, love and hope of our Savior. As we follow Him completely, in word and attitude and deed, He will massage our hearts to tender places and the answers to life’s questions will become crystal clear. Or, the questions just won't matter. And, that’s where we will go next week.

Hard Heartedness

Do these people seem familiar?

• The churchman who, faced with knee-buckling family tragedy, turns completely from faith and lives the rest of his days cursing God, and shunning everything about the church.
• The scolding family member who says, "You are becoming a Jesus freak; you are embarrassing our family." 
• The matriarch who says, "No, let's not pray at our 50th Anniversary dinner; it will make some feel uncomfortable. Let's just leave religion out of it."
• The couple, no longer having babies, that looks beyond young parents in need of free baby furniture to see a few dollars made at a neighborhood yard sale?
• The successful white-collar businessman who looks at a neighborhood and refers to everyone in it as "them," assigning a measure of superiority and societal blame with his words.
• The church volunteer who throws her hands up in disgust and says, "I quit! No one is helping, and everyone is happy to watch me work myself to death."
• The uncle (or aunt - fill in the blank) who knows his nephew doesn't know Jesus and washes his hands of any guilt by saying, "Well, if it's meant to be, God will get his attention."

All of these are but a very few examples of spiritual hard-heartedness.
For all of those examples, above, I can assign a very real person to each of them. I can even assign myself to one or two. I'm not suggesting any of these people are bad, immoral, un-Godly people. Each of them is a good person, and a follower of Jesus. But, each of them, too, experienced a measure of what Jesus calls hard-heartedness to the matters of faith, meaning their spiritual journey detoured. If unchecked, the detour can be costly.

Let's look at Mark 8: 1-21, and let's look at in several parts.
Part One: 8:1-10. Jesus has miraculously fed 4,000 people with a few loaves of bread and fish. And, in fact, there were even leftovers. That's pretty impressive. How could anyone close to the miracle be blinded to the reality of Jesus? After the feeding of the people, Jesus and the disciples got in a boat and crossed to another place.
Part Two: 8:11-13. When the Pharisees heard about the miracle, they confronted Jesus, and demanded that He show them a miracle. He sighed deeply. That's big for me - Jesus just gave a weary sigh. He refused to give them a sign, and he and the disciples got back in the boat to travel again.
Part Three: 8:14-21: Back in the boat, the disciples got hungry, but they had forgotten the leftovers. They had just one loaf of bread. Gee whiz. Jesus warned them, "Watch out! Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and of Herod." The disciples ignored Jesus and began to argue with each other, blaming one another for forgetting the leftovers. Jesus was exasperated. They had seen but quickly forgotten that He had miraculously just fed 4,000 people from a few loaves. One loaf of bread to feed those in the boat was nothing. And, Jesus says, "Are your hearts too hard to take it in?"

Oh, my. Just like the disciples, we suffer from hard hearts. We suffer from Teflon hearts. We see and know and follow Jesus, but in the matter of seconds, minutes and in our everyday attitudes - we act no different than the Pharisees who hated Jesus. Drawing from yeast as a microorganism that enriches bread, Jesus warns us to not to have the yeast of the Pharisees growing within us.
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What is hardness of the heart? Well, at its core – it is sin because it puts the will of self ahead of the will of God. The will of God is always about loving Him and loving others ahead of self. With hard heartedness, there is an attitude of stubbornness, disobedience and self-will. When a child stands up against parental authority, we speak of the child as hard-hearted – a heart that is hardened to parental love. In our spiritual lives, hardness of the heart is choosing self and things of the Earth over loving and serving God, and following Jesus. What it makes it worse is that it is willful disobedience. We can’t excuse it away.

What are some of the effects and manifestations of a hard heart? There will be a spirit of defensiveness – a rejection of conviction of sin. Two believers were arguing over a photograph one had posted on Facebook. They asked me if I approved of the photograph, showing one believer - a leader in his church - at a roulette wheel on a cruise ship. I told them that the photograph did not personally offend me, but I could make a case for it tarnishing the witness of the believer. The person in the photograph became indignant, lashed out, and essentially told me to "mind my own business." Hard-heartedness always defends, justifies and rationalizes sin. Hard heartedness manifests itself, too, in prejudice, blunted morality, a limp gospel (that hell does not exist and God will usher everyone into heaven), mockery of faith, and a blindness to the social position of others.

What is the byproduct of a hard heart?
Just like the yeast growing in bread, a hard heart can grow so thick that a person can't hear from God, cannot hear the voice of God through others, and if the person is unsaved . . . well. You and I always stand on the precipice of hard-heartedness. For me, hard heartedness is like a veil that comes between me and God. It's like something blocking me from being in that sweet spot with Him. Fortunately, I can hear the Holy Spirit crying for me to acknowledge the veil exists, and to tear it away through my obedience to our Lord.

Having a tender heart for the gospel, and for others, is something that requires our constant focus and prayer. It also demands that we have people in our lives who can hold us accountable when our hearts began to turn hard.