Christian Community - We come alone

Understanding that we come to faith as an intimate, personal and lonely decision helps us better understand how the personal faith journey fits into our family and friend relationships, including marriage.

My grandmother used to love to sing the 1912 hymn by C. Austin Miles, In The Garden. Interesting, it was recorded in 1950 as a duet between Roy and Dale Rogers. You probably know the hymn, which begins with these words, "I come to the garden alone . . ." and has the familiar chorus, "And, He walks with me and He talks with me." This beautiful song almost always brings me to tears because it describes the one-on-one intimacy between a believer and the Savior. My grandmother also sang it from a place of pain, living with an alcoholic who despised the church and did not acknowledge Jesus. (My grandfather came to faith later in life and died a believer.)

Matthew 16:24-25 also points us to this individual, lonely approach to faith. "Then Jesus said to his disciples (which would include us today), 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me." To be a follower of Jesus requires:

• "If any of you wants to be my follower," implies an individual ownership of faith. Any of you.
• "You must turn from your selfish ways," implies an individual repentance that puts serving God and others ahead of selfish ambition, want and desire. You must turn.
• "(You) must take up your cross and follow me," implies a metaphorical execution of the old self, and acknowledges that the new self will face persecution from others.
• "Follow me," implies that Jesus knew this world was temporary and that He was a stranger here. Following Him, means we accept an urgency to help people meet Jesus as personal Savior and that we don't become obsessively distracted by things of this Earth.

Every believer's approach to Jesus must be . . . an individual, lonely decision. As the hymn, In The Garden, implies from the story of Mary Magdalene in John 20, she came to the tomb alone and there she encountered the resurrected Jesus. And, she believed. And, then she went to tell others about Him. More than anything, it's that "go and tell" that defines us as true, intimate followers of Jesus.

As I visit with believers, I find most don't fully understand or want to acknowledge this lonely approach to faith. Even in my own life, it's taken 50-plus years to really wrap my head around it. This is evidence that the Lord is always teaching and moving us to deeper levels of discipleship.

We don't like to think about a lonely, personal walk with Jesus because we are taught to appreciate "safety in numbers" or "being lost in the crowd" or "misery loves company." Unfortunately, the supernatural world of faith does not respect that thinking. Each of us is born alone, dies alone, and comes to Jesus alone. Each of us will face the judgement of a sovereign God . . . alone . . . unless, we follow Jesus, who took that judgement for those who call Him Savior.

I believe the horror story beyond all imagination lies in the story of the individual who dies without knowing Jesus, but thinks they do know Him, and then suddenly confronts God all alone. In panic, that individual will cry out, "Where is my wife to testify for me?" or "Where are my friends who can testify to my goodness?" or "Where is the charity that I helped?" or "Where are the people that I served?" Where are the character witnesses? I believe millions of people die each day are found as God wrote on the wall in Daniel 5, "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin" (mee-nee, mee-nee, tek-uhl, yoo-farh-sin or translated, 'You have been measured and have been found wanting." You are eternally doomed.

What the heck does all this have to do with Christian Community?

I stand at the cross alone, needing nothing but Jesus, and through that faith I can thank God for His provision of Christian Community to encourage and correct me along my faith journey. The Christian Community is the individual believer's support system for continued discipleship, and against which we can measure and find peace in the reality of our faith.

No believer will ever be completely comfortable in the loneliness of the faith journey, but the lonely faith journey is required to be comfortable in the faith community.Too many people believe following Jesus is synonymous with the church or attendance at something. No, being a part of Christian Community is impossible without the loneliness of a pre-existing faith journey.

I get some kind of cardiovascular exercise every day. During the week, I love to go out to the Gibson Road soccer fields at lunch, and walk about three miles at a brisk pace. I have discovered that these walks - often I'm the only one out there - are when I experience a worship almost beyond description. I put on my head phones and listen to downloaded Christian contemporary music and some of the old hymns that I love. As I walk, I let the music guide my worship. I pray for people I love, and I listen to the Holy Spirit as He puts people into my prayers. Sometimes, quite honestly, I am driven to tears of joy as I worship there; sometimes, I am driven to my knees in prayer and conviction. It is a lonely worship, which - for me - makes my corporate worship with the Christian Community even that much sweeter.

When you and I wrap our lives around this personal, faith journey we quickly realize that no other human being can really negatively impact that one-to-one relationship with Jesus. But, Jesus will affect all of my other human relationships. I want to close this lesson with some perspective on that and its implication for the believer's involvement in Christian Community.

Friendships
Drop the name of Jesus in your conversation with friends, and you will see a reshuffling of your friends. The name of Jesus forces a response - support, encouragement, or denial. That's part of the cost of following Jesus. Those who deny Him will also deny you. If following Jesus didn't cost my life, then Jesus' sacrifice for me would be a cheap and inexpensive grace. And, it wasn't. It was a costly grace. Jesus draws a line in the sand and forces people to react to that line. Those who can't draw the line may need to self-examine the reality of their faith journey with Him. If you can't talk about the ones you love, including Jesus, you may not really love them.

Personally, my faith journey is such a part of me that I talk about it with the same ease that I talk about my Vicki or my boys. But, I don't force the conversation; I just see an opportunity to talk about my faith and I dive into that opportunity. I let the other person react accordingly. I never give up on people, and anyone desiring to be my friend can be my friend. I never take a "nose in the air" approach to relationships. I let others choose what to do with my Jesus and what to do with me. I have found that an authentic, genuine, respectful approach to others and to my faith helps me with sharing my faith. The door also opens for me to talk about my Christian Community.

Family

My family includes unbelievers and unchurched people. I don't know that there's a difference. For me, believers will be drawn to Christian Community by the Holy Spirit alive within them. I've had family members whisper to me, "As we all get together, let's keep religion out of it . . . we don't want people to be offended" as if I'm some wild-eyed John-the-Baptist evangelist. (That's hilarious). 

When I'm with my family, I go to church. If I were in Lexington, I would go to church; if I'm away from Lexington, I go to church. If timetables don't allow church, I've offered simple devotions for those interested. I usually lead a blessing over the table. I talk about our Sunday School class and our church is doing in ministry. These are key parts of my life. Why would I not talk about them in candid conversation? Certainly, I am not a Christian bully, and I am not easily offended, but at the same time, my faith is my core and the Christian Community is the most important community of my life. How my family responds, well, I yield that to the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit.

Marriage

My marriage to my Vicki got off on the right foot. As a believer, I prayed for her before I knew her. In 1981, I prayed for the Lord to send her. He did. Because He sent her, and he desires married people to be equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), she was naturally a believer, too. That equal yoking is foundational to our marriage, and made a faith approach to Christian Community very, very easy.

I know many, many married couples who struggle with the role of faith and Christian Community. The marriage started in a general, spiritual place (both believers, both unbelievers, or unequally yoked). Shifts in personal faith began to occur. A saved person longs for Christian Community; an unsaved person is not. In some marriages, the believer will resist Christian Community to preserve harmony in the marriage. I can tell  you that the believer who resists Christian Community is going to be a miserable person. So much of the non-clinical depression that I see is because the believer has resisted Christian Community and is at odds with the Spirit within them.

Because the faith journey is a lonely one, and growth is individual, I believe it's completely natural and normal for spouses to be on different journeys. Vicki and I have experienced it. She and I approach prayer differently, approach Bible study different, approach church involvement different, and personal evangelism differently. That's normal and healthy because at Ground Zero we are both believers and we both value Christian Community.

Marriage reminders:

• God loves you. God loves marriage between two believers. God does not love chaos between two believers, especially husband and wife bound in Holy Matrimony. The couple in Holy Matrimony should be comfortable talking about respective faith journeys, and should be respectful of those. I would never preach to Vicki about what her faith needs to look like. I would never be self-righteous about it, I would not use guilt trips, I would not argue about it, and I would not preach about it. But, as the coin turns, I would never let her hold back my faith journey and involvement in Christian Community. Live your faith and let it be a testimony to your spouse, your family and your friends.
• Pray every day for your spouse, especially if your spouse is an unbeliever and  if your spouse is rejecting Christian Community. Put your marriage second only to your faith journey. Be a living testimony of joy and peace for your spouse. And, be encouraged by your own deep plunge into Christian Community.
• Understand that the personal faith journey of your children and grandchildren is absolutely affected by your personal faith journey. The priority you place - and best if through your marriage - on faith and Christian Community will set an example for other generations of believers. That should be our legacy.

All of this begins with me. It begins with me, alone at the cross, alone in the garden, with my Savior.