Heaven : Heavenly interactions

Every believer hopes and prays that loved ones, when they die, are safe and secure in the arms of Jesus. But, losing a loved is tough on the most steadfast and faithful believer. It's like a part of you has been unceremoniously dissected away without anesthesia. And, in grieving, we want to maintain a closeness with our dearly departed. And, if we're not careful - that desire to maintain contact with deceased loves one can drift us - even innocently - into the occult.

For your own Bible Study, prayer and reflection, I'm going to wade into these waters with Scripture. And, when I offer my own opinion, I will designate it as my opinion.

Can people in heaven see us?

On the shelf in my office, I have photographs of all four of my deceased grandparents. I loved every one of them and each of them contributed to who I am today. They are all dead and gone, and I believe they are each in heaven. As I learn things about the two of died when I was a boy, the more I am at peace with them being in heaven.

But, the photographs make me wonder: Are they watching me from heaven? Are they disgusted by my life and decisions? Do they hurt when I hurt? When I laugh, does it make them happy?

Some believe that those in heaven can see us here on Earth. The Bible doesn't say they can't see us. Some anchor this thinking in Hebrews 12:1, which says, "Since we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses . . ." But, in my opinion, that verse is often taken out of context. I believe this "cloud of witnesses" is less about heavenly spies and more about remembering the lives of faith that serve as a testimony (or witness) to us today.

Revelation 21:4 reminds us that there is no grief, tears or unhappiness in heaven. If our loved ones can look upon us, living in a sinful state, would not our actions and words bring them a measure of unhappiness and sadness? Yes, it would. My Mema would be very distressed at some of the things that I say and do. Because that anxiety can't exist in heaven, I don't believe my Mema is watching me. I believe she is caught up in the fellowship of heaven and in fellowship with our God.

Others say that those in heaven are aware of some Earthly occurrences. In Luke 15:7, Jesus says, “heaven will be happier over one lost sinner who returns to God” implying that all of heaven will know of this activity on Earth and celebrate it. In Luke 15:10, Jesus says, “In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels when even one sinner repents.” Because humans are not angels in heaven (read below), Luke 15:10 implies that humans - in the presence of angels - experience joy over repentance.

My opinion is this: People in heaven are not watching us here on Earth, but when someone on Earth - through receiving the gift of salvation and knowing Jesus as Savior - comes to faith then all of heaven is aware of it. Celebration occurs.

Are people in heaven interacting with us here on Earth?

We know that angels can and have interacted with us here on Earth. In Luke 19:28-44, the angel named Gabriel interacted with Mary. in Hebrews 13:2, we read that there are "angels unaware" among us today.

But, you and I don't become angels when we die. Angels are spiritual beings created by God to be His servants and messengers. He's given them great authority and power to do His will. Psalm 8:5 says that God made humans "a little lower than the heavenly beings."

But, when people go to heaven, 1 Corinthians 6:3 says that we will judge the angels, implying that our heavenly status in greater than the angels. You and I do not become angels when we die.

Laying that issue aside, leads us to this one: Can we communicate with our loved ones who are in heaven?

These are dangerous waters.

I believe that you and I can have dreams and visions of heaven, and in those dreams we may be permitted by the Holy Spirit to see our loved ones. I've had those dreams, some of you have, too, and mine have brought me a great measure of peace and comfort that I know could only come from the Holy Spirit.

I believe, too, that there's nothing wrong with going to a family member's grave site and talking to loved ones as if they are there. There's nothing wrong with going to a grave site, and saying, "I miss you, and let me tell you what's going on in my life." Does that message get to heaven? I don't know. If communicating that way brings you peace of mind, well, I find nothing wrong with it. The peace is coming from the Holy Spirit knowing your pain and bringing comfort to you - not from an interaction with your loved ones.

In all of this, there is a thin veil that I believe is very, very dangerous.

Satan loves to intersect us in grief and feelings of despair.

Praying to loved ones is heresy. Asking loved ones to "do things" for you in heaven, to talk with God for you, to come down and give you "signs" on Earth - that's borderline occult, in my opinion.

1 Timothy 2:5 says, "For there is only one God and one Mediator (Jesus) who can reconcile with God and people. His name is Christ Jesus."

A good rule of thumb is to talk to deceased loves ones, but don't ask them to do anything for you (even to bring you comfort - only Jesus provides comfort that we need from the heavenly realm) or to communicate with you.

Deuteronomy 18:9-14 warns us that "anyone involved in mysticism is an object of horror and disgust to the Lord." I would even extend that to practices that call upon loved ones to “be with us” during this time – however innocent things might seem. I’d be very careful about leaving an empty seat for grandma at the Mother’s Day lunch table, and acknowledging that she’s sitting there. Hearing a loved one through wind chimes or a bird outside the door is mysticism, my opinion.

Satan will use anything he can, especially during times of grief, to look for peace and comfort anywhere and everywhere but the arms of Jesus.

My counsel to you is this: Celebrate and remember the lives of loved ones. Know that as a believer, you will be in the company of loved ones in heaven one day. Let them go enjoy heaven until you get there. Find peace in your Savior and comfort in the loved ones still here with you. Don’t get consumed with holding on to those who have died and gone in unhealthy ways.

Heaven: Will we know one another?

Despite all the sickness, problems and pain in this world, we are in love with one another. It’s our love for one another that makes this world worth enduring. I can’t imagine – do not want to imagine – my life without my Vicki. And, we love our friends, don’t we? I have loved social media because it has allowed me to connect with people in all the chapters of my life – and not just connect with them but allow them to be easily accessible.

Scripture tells us to "love one another" and we do. And, that's really what makes the thought of death so painful to us. We don't want to say "good bye" and we don't people we love saying "good-bye" to us. Our lives become tangled with one another. Death rips it all apart and that is painful. We hate the idea of it, and we dread it, too.

Some of our funeral parlor cliche focuses on "seeing them again one day," but is that true? I believe it is.

But, again, let me caution you as never before: I really flinch over people who come to faith because they want to go to heaven one day. We must come to Jesus because we recognize our sinfulness and we crave restoration with our God. We recognize that a belief in Jesus - in heart and in mind - is the only way that restoration is possible. And, as we are saved from God's wrath, through Jesus, we enter our eternity today. At the moment our human body shuts down completely, we simply move on in life to be in heaven. Heaven is a reward - not a reason.

When I think about heaven, I believe we will see our friends and loved ones in heaven, and we will be able to spend time with them. But, our primary focus will be experiencing God and enjoying the wonders of heaven. I think it will be like going to a giant birthday party, where many of my family and friends will be. I will know a lot of people, I will mix and mingle with a  lot of people, and I will laugh and enjoy the company of a lot of people, but THE PARTY and the GUEST OF HONOR will be the focal point of the party.

From Scripture, we get the idea that people are recognizable in heaven:

• 1 Samuel 28:8-17 : King Saul recognized Samuel when the witch of Endor summoned him from the realm of the dead.
•  2 Samuel 12:23 : David says that he will recognize his infant son that had died.
•  Luke 16:19-31 : Abraham, Lazarus, and the rich man were all recognizable after death.
•  Matthew 17:3-4: Moses and Elijah were both recognizable after death.
•  1 John 3:2 : “But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” 1 Corinthians 15:47 : “And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.”
•  People recognized Jesus after His resurrection. (John 20:16, 20; 21:12; 1 Corinthians 15:4-7). If Jesus was recognizable in His glorified body, we will be recognizable in our glorified bodies.

Will Vicki and I be married in heaven?

No. Why do we have marriage on Earth? Eve was made because Adam needed a companion. Second, there was the need to procreate. Neither of those will be needed in heaven, and so therefore there won’t be a need for marriage. Vicki and I will know one another, and I believe we will know we were married here. And, we will enjoy fellowship in heaven. But, we won’t be married. Matthew 22:23-30.

Will I be sad if I don’t see certain people?

Revelation 21:4 reminds us that “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away.”

We won’t be sad and so we won’t mourn those we don’t see. 1 John 3:2 says that through following Jesus, we are already God’s children. As one of God's children, and through my faith in Jesus, I will be 100 percent at peace with who is in heaven. I will completely understand why some are not in heaven. Why? Because they chose not to believe in Jesus while they were on Earth.

Now, that’s hard to understand when we stand here today and think about children, brothers, sisters and parents who might not be with us in heaven. That’s why there should be an urgency, today, to confront people we love with the gospel. 

Will I know my unborn child in heaven?Psalm 139:13-16 reminds us that we were knitted together before we were born; that God saw us before we were born. We were woven together in the dark of the womb. In God's eyes, we became "born" at the moment of conception.

Romans 6:23 says "the wages of sin is death." Unborn children, babies and even children who can't clarify right from wrong have, in fact, willfully sinned. Psalm 51:5 says that that every child born is born with a sinful nature and is subject to judgement. God must punish all sin.

But, Psalm 136:26 reveals God as a God of goodness and mercy. Psalm 145:17 says God is gracious in all His works. 

In 2 Samuel 12, God causes David's infant son to die. The son was conceived in an adulterous relationship with Bathsheba. David then orchestrated for Bathsheba's husband to go to the front lines of battle. David ordered that the troops retreat, leaving Uriah exposed to the enemy so he would be killed.

David mourns the death of his son and in 2 Samuel 12:23 says, "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." This implies that God has given David comfort that David will see his son one day in heaven.

I trust completely that Vicki and I will one day see the baby we lost through miscarriage. I believe, too, that followers of Jesus who had abortions will see those babies in heaven as well.

We can also draw comfort in Jesus' love for the innocents. In Luke 18:16 he says, "Let the children come to me.” I believe through Scripture that Jesus holds a very dear, loving, special place for little children, and that would include the unborn.

What age will I be? How can I recognize my babies?

This is an unanswered mystery. We know we will recognize one another and that's all. In 1 John 3:2, John writes, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." Some have tried to speculate that based on this verse we all be about the same age as Jesus, when he was crucified – about 30.

I don't believe that, personally. I just have confidence we will recognize one another. (End)

Heaven: An introduction

There is a lot of confusion about what happens when we die, and many people have many different opinions. This lesson begins a set of lessons focused on heaven. I will brush by hell, and return to discuss hell through a set of lessons later this year. Both heaven and hell are real places, and every single human being born of this Earth will spend eternity in heaven and the New Jerusalem or in hell and the Lake of Fire.

I've been around a lot of death and dying over the past two years. I've preached funerals, I've attended funerals, and I've prayed over people who have lost friends and family. And, I'm perplexed at just how confused we are about what happens when we die, and specifically how confused we are about heaven. Most of what I teach in this lesson set about heaven will be in concert with the writings of Randy Alcorn in his book, Heaven. But, I will also cross-check Alcorn's teachings with Baptist teaching and with my own Biblical research.

Most of us, in the Television Generation, grew up with an image about heaven that we've maintained even today: Good people die and go up in the sky somewhere. They greet St. Peter at the gates of heaven. He checks a list like a bouncer at a night club. If that person is on the list, he or she is granted entrance into heaven. The new heaven-dweller is given wings, a harp and a cloud. Then, that person floats around in happy bliss, forever, occasionally coming down to sit on someone's shoulder to help that person make choices between right and wrong. Or, as in the case of the movie, It's A Wonderful Life, the person serves to protect a still-living human being from harm.

If you believe that is your future, and the future of the ones you love, I only ask you to research and present Scripture that confirms it. Because, honestly, that image is not true. The future of confessing followers of Jesus is so much more wonderful and "real" than that.

Before we dive into some of the myths and realities of heaven, I'd like to give you some disclaimers:

• First, I'm not going to plunge so deep into the theology about heaven that you and I get bored with all of the opinions and thoughts. I'm going to keep it simple, presenting what Scripture tells us. I invite you to go deeper on your own should you desire that. Reading Alcorn's Heaven is a great start. But, even then, I would take the Scripture passages, and read Bible commentary and chase Scriptural cross references. Personally, I use the Life Application Study Bible with its commentary supplemented by the complete Life Application Bible Commentary Series of the New Testament. Be very careful about chasing a lot of internet links related to Bible study. Many sites distort Scripture or supplant opinions for Scripture. If Scripture is silent about something - you should be silent about it, too.
• Second, Don't get so consumed with "tomorrow" that you fail to follow Jesus "today." People who get over-consumed with heaven and the next chapter of life, beyond death, won't have the necessary energy to build relationships today and help people discover Jesus. If we follow Jesus today, our future is secure. We don't need to worry about our future. This lesson set is simply to provide you with hope about where you will spend eternity as a believer.
• Third, I cringe when I hear people accept Jesus because they want to go to heaven. We accept Jesus because we need salvation from God's wrath up on sin. Heaven - and peace on Earth - is a benefit of that. My mama would not let me proceed with faith conversations because I wanted to one day be with my family in heaven. We receive Jesus because of the need to be saved from sin. Motive behind faith decisions is important.
• Fourth, We're not going to study The End Times though we will lean on Revelation and John's look into heaven. Revelation gives us a beautiful portrait of heaven. But, we aren't going to dwell on the end of the world. This set of lessons is about what happens if you die within the next 10 minutes.

What happens when we die.

John 3:16-19 reads, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him (Jesus) will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. There is no judgement awaiting those who trust him. But those who do not trust him have already been judged for not believing in the only Son of God. Their judgement is based on this fact: The light from heaven came into the world, but they loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil."

John 3:36 reads, "And all who believe in God's Son have eternal life. Those who don't obey the Son will never experience eternal life, but the wrath of God remains upon them."

Here's what we know:

1. There is life beyond this life and it lasts for an eternity.
2. This life is available to everyone who trusts Jesus as the Savior from God's wrath upon sin. Everyone is born into sin. Not everyone will choose Jesus, and for those the wrath is in their future.
3. Eternal life pointing toward heaven and the New Jerusalem begins at the moment a person accepts Jesus as personal Savior. My metaphor is this: At the moment a person accepts Jesus' sacrifice for them, they literally "jump the track" to a "new track" and become a new supernatural being. They are literally and figuratively "born again." The sting of death is removed. They are now "aliens and strangers in this world." Death becomes a door through which we live on.
4. What does John mean, in v. 3:36, when he writes that believers must "obey" the Son. To "obey" the Son means to believe in salvation; to believe in salvation means to confess it and live it before men. (Romans 10:9).

What you and I must stop doing is falling into the funeral parlor cliche,where we say things like "Well, he's in a better place" or "At least she's not suffering now." The truth is that that unbelievers are not in a better place and the suffering is a lot worse. If I don't know a person's heart toward Jesus, and I use cliche that's not true, I become a false testifier. I give people hope that does not exist. That's not good. If you don't know, personally, having heard someone confess Jesus as their Savior, it's better to be quiet about their future beyond death. You don't know. However, if you know someone knew Jesus and is saved, well, it's your responsibility to make that known to everyone and to use the above Scripture to make it known. That's standing up for Jesus.

Upon death, a believer's soul and spirit immediately go to be with Jesus.
We are saved, but Jesus reviews our lives with us. He died for us; He has that right.
We enjoy heaven until The End Times are complete. Then, we are given new bodies. We join God in building the New Jerusalem, which will be this Earth remade without sin and the ravages of it.

In 2 Corinthians 5:6-10, Paul writes that we are away from our Earthly bodies and at home with the Lord. Even believers will have to stand in front of Jesus and be judged according to the good and the evil we did in our bodies. This won't affect our salvation, but we will give an account. (Matthew 16:27, Romans 14:10-12, 1 Corinthians 3:10-15).

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15:50-54 that "we will all be transformed . . . when the trumpet sounds, Christians will be raised from the death with new bodies." Listen to Paul's words, "But let me tell you a wonderful secret God has revealed to us. Not all of us will die, but we will all be transformed. It will happen in a moment, in the blinking of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, the Christians who have died will be raised with transformed bodies. And then we who are living will be transformed so that we will never die. For our perishable earthly bodies must be transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die." He goes on to write, "Death is swallowed up in victory . . . O death, where is your sting?"

John writes in Revelation 21:1 and 20:11-15 about these new reunited and glorified bodies - now with our soul and spirit - entering the new heavens and the new earth.

One other note. The new bodies will not be the old bodies. Those old bodies have rotted and decayed. Those who are cremated or who die in fire and water are not left without heavenly bodies. No, all believers are given a new body. 

Heaven is actually a temporary place for a believer's soul and spirit. It's the place of God's throne. It is the place where Jesus is today. It is the real, physical place where believers go when they die. But, at the very end - with the last trumpet - God will move all of those with him in heaven to the New Jerusalem, which will be this Earth remade without sin and the damages of it. While the New Jerusalem and Heaven are different places, the New Jerusalem will be quite heavenly by my Earthly definition of it.

My Jesus: Jesus Is For Everyone

Please read Luke 19:1-10

Zaccheus was one of the hated tax collectors.
During the days of Jesus, certain Jewish men worked for the Roman government as tax collectors. With the full strength of The Empire behind them, these men collected Roman taxes from the Jews. These men were also permitted to collect "extra" and keep it for themselves. These tax collectors got rich off the backs of their fellow Jews.
It's easy to see why Jews hated the tax collectors.

Imagine you and I are great friends and neighbors. There's a third neighbor who begins taking advantage of you, legally, and even oppresses you at times. This oppressor then hires me to keep an eye on you, and you know it. What does all of this do to the relationship between you and me? I'll tell you what it does - it destroys the relationship. You see me as a traitor. Even though we are neighbors, you see me as "on the other team" and a part of the oppression.

It wasn't that the Jews were angry at the tax collectors. No. They hated the tax collectors.

And, like every good pyramid scheme, the tax collectors had a supervisor: The Chief Tax Collector. This individual, another Jew, taxed the Jews directly, but also took from the other tax collectors, forcing them to collect more from the Jews. The disciple Matthew, before he was called to follow Jesus, was a rich tax collector. Zaccheus, the subject of our story today, was a chief tax collector. Zaccheus was filthy rich.

In Luke 18, we read that Jesus, just outside the city of Jericho, had healed a blind beggar. This stirred up the people and everyone came running to see Jesus and to know more about what had happened. Zaccheus, like others, was curious. But, Zaccheus had a physical problem. He was short. Historians tell us that the average Roman male was about 5-5, and that Jews were a little shorter than the Gentiles. So, let's say the average Jew of that day was 5-3. Zaccheus was perhaps shorter than even that. So, he couldn't see above everyone in the crowd. Thinking stratetigcally, he ran ahead and climbed a Sycamore tree. The Sycamore was a lot like an Oak, but with branches low to the ground and more vertical for climbing and roosting.

When Jesus approaches the tree, he see Zaccheus and calls him by name, and then says, "Come down, I must be your guest tonight." Scripture says Zaccheus enthusiastically responded.

Do you see subtle messages here? Jesus came for both the blind beggar (Luke 18) and the rich tax collector (Luke 19). He came from everyone. Jesus knew Zaccheus name before they were ever introduced. You and I can never escape the fact that Jesus knows us - He knows our thinking and the motivations behind what we do. And, He is calling us to join Him.

Do you stay in the tree or do you get out of the tree? Many, I'm afraid, stay in the tree.

Imagine the crowd's reaction to Jesus' calling Zaccheus to fellowship. The crowd goes crazy. They aren't just mad; they are angry.

Zaccheus realizes the supernatural Holiness here. How did Jesus know his name? He can't explain what's happening deep within his spirit. What caused him to run and climb the tree? He is overcome and cries out, "Lord, Lord!" as he recognized Jesus as His Lord.

Is Jesus your Lord? We talk about Jesus as our Savior from God's wrath upon sin, but is Jesus your Lord and Savior? Are you a slave to Jesus? Is your purpose for living to serve Jesus? Does everything you do turn back to Jesus? Is every decision you make squared with Jesus' call on your life? Believers claim Jesus as their Savior from sin, and THEN live as if Jesus is their Lord and Master. That's what Zaccheus supernaturally affirms.

Unlike the story of The Rich Young Ruler, who could not claim Jesus as his Lord and Savior, and could not give up the things of Earth, Zaccheus gushes, "I will give half of my possessions to the poor and if I have cheated anyone, I will repay them 4 times.” In his response, Zaccheus repented – He turned from what the world called important. He turned from the stumbling block keeping Him for fully engaging Jesus and faith. He walked away from the world's call on his life. He slipped free of the chains of this world – of sin and selfishness.

Jesus says, because of Zaccheus response, “Salvation, today, has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.” Jesus acknowledges that because of Zaccheus heart-felt turn from self, He is indeed saved from the wrath upon sinfulness.

• Salvation did not come to Zaccheus because He was Jewish and did all the correct religious stuff, like attend temple gatherings (church).
• Salvation did not come to Zaccheus because he did good things. All the good things you do, don’t mean anything. A lot of great community clubs do great things. You and I are called to do these great philanthropic things toward a goal: To build relationship with others for the chance to share Jesus.
• Salvation came because Zaccheus sought Jesus, Jesus called Him, He responded, He repented – He removed from his life what would keep him from following Jesus. He claimed Jesus and not money, prestige, influence as “His Lord.”

We don’t know what became of Zaccheus after this. John The Baptist, baptizing tax collectors, had charged them with collecting only what was required and no more. We can assume that if Zaccheus remained as a tax collector - he was a changed man in that role.

Questions before us:

• Is Jesus your Savior? If I said, "Give me the names of 100 people who know you well." And, then I gathered those 100 people together. I give each of them a piece of paper and say, "Tell me about my friend." How would those 100 describe you? How many would write, "follower of Jesus"? How many would write "follower of Jesus" as the first thing on that paper? I think people would know me as the father of four boys, a good person, or someone who should be in chains. I'm not completely confident how many people would say, "Scott is a follower of Jesus." That's convicting. Our goal should be for someone to hear our name and think, "Jesus" because they see Him reflected in us. They hear us talk about our faith; they hear us say the name of "Jesus." I think it's the true measure of a person's salvation: Not what I say that I am, but what others see in me.
• Who do you know that is climbing the tree to see Jesus? We live in an affluent community. Everyone of us knows someone who wants to climb that tree and see Jesus. Who can I help? Who I can I talk to about Jesus? Who needs me as a friend in faith? Who can I invite to join me at church? 
• Can I seize the moment to introduce someone to Jesus? Can I share my faith story with them, knowing that I don’t know all the answers? Can I walk with them to talk to someone who might fill in the blanks for me?
• What does having Jesus as my Lord do to my life? How will I respond when people shun me, whisper about me, and become angry with me? Am I prepared for the lonely walk with Jesus? Jesus calls me to it as my Lord and Master. Will I follow or I will hang my head and turn from Him?

My Jesus: Making Faith A Priority

Jesus is calling you and me to make Him the priority of our lives.
We say we "know" Jesus. We say we believe the Bible. The Bible is clear that "knowing Jesus" means He is the centerpiece of our lives. Yet, each of us - in part or in whole - rejects Him daily as the Lord and Savior of our lives. Yes, He is our Savior, but following Jesus means He is our Lord as well. Lord means "master" or "owner."

It is a heart-breaking story that is replayed in American household after household.What comes between a person and following Jesus?

• People say "I love my home" and demonstrate it by yard work and remodeling and refinancing.
• People say "I love my family" and demonstrate it by investing full-time energy and money in their children.
• People say "I love my job" and demonstrate it by working 80 hour weeks and celebrating a "climb" in business and prestige.
• People say "I love my Jesus" and demonstrate it by . . . an occasional hour on Sunday morning and perhaps a check to the church.

Jesus says we have it all backward. The planning and priorities of our lives should give the "first fruits" to the work of the Kingdom - to following Jesus. Then, we give to home, family and job whatever is left.

Read the story of the Rich Young Ruler.

This story isn't so much about money. It's about priority and the place of Jesus in our lives.
Too many people say, "Whew, for once I'm glad I'm in the middle class. I'm not a rich person with a lot of influence and so this doesn't apply to me." No. This story is about each of us who put what the world values over following Jesus. I'm guilty; so are you. All of us are - at times and perhaps all the time - found wanting in this regard. But, because "we all do it" excuses none of us.

• The Rich Young Ruler came to Jesus, knowing him as a teacher .  .  .  but not as God.
• Jesus says, Why do you call me “good – only God is good." Jesus is not separating himself from being God; He is saying that all men are self-centered and evil.
• The Rich Young ruler wanted eternal life, and Jesus said, “Well, you know the commandments” because Jesus knew the young man was looking for a check-off list. Jesus quotes the commandments out of order just to show the silliness of the check-off list. You and I can't do anything to receive eternal life.
• The young man says, "Well, I do those things. I keep the commandments."
• Jesus loved the young man because he was eager. Jesus says, "Well, there's one thing left to do." He tells the Rich Young ruler that he must go and sell everything that he has, and give it all the poor. AND THEN, "follow me." Jesus is saying, 'You must strip your life down to nothing so that in having nothing, you must have Me to make it day by day. Place Me at the top of your priorities."
• The Rich Young ruler’s face dropped and he went away sad because he could not give up the things of the world.
• Jesus says, “How hard it is for rich people to enter the Kingdom of God!” Exclamation – sadness. Then, he said it again.
• The disciples said, “Well, who in the world can be saved then?” Jesus said, "No one." What Jesus is saying is that the rich young ruler would not have eternal life because he gave his stuff away. We can’t earn salvation. He would have eternal life because he would clear away all the distractions, forcing him to live each day dependent on God to see Him through. And, surrendering to Jesus, to God, would give him eternal life.

How do we begin the journey of making Jesus a priority?

• Slow down.Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."
• Calendar the things of faith . . . first. Take your calendar, and write "Attend worship and Sunday School" on each Sunday; put small group and mission activities on the calendar. Then, add the family calendar, being careful and thoughtful about removing the things of faith that help you grow.
• Invest in a few others. Segregate your "friends in faith" from your "friends who need faith" and invest in both groups.
• Use the name of Jesus. The more you talk about Jesus, specifically, the easier it becomes. 
• Study Scripture and have regular times of daily devotion.
• Pray. If you don't know how to pray, ask a friend in faith to help you.

In the story of the Rich Young Ruler, there's one thing to consider that is rarely mentioned.

When the young man turned and walked away. Jesus did not chase after him.

Jesus allows you and me to make our decisions. He wants us to freely choose to follow Him. He won’t chase after us. If you choose to value the things of this world over Jesus, He will let you. He will let you live in worry, fear, doubt, depression, regret, and sorrow. He will let you live that way that, hoping that in your deepest despair, you will turn to Him and cry out for the cup of water that only He can provide.

I do believe that we moved by the Spirit to sow the seeds of faith. Our burden is to tell the stories of Jesus – stories like the one of the Rich Young Ruler. We have a burden to share the gospel with people – to say, “Jesus is my Savior.” I believe it.

We have a burden – a responsibility – to live lives that protect our witness – lives that encourage people and don’t cause people to stumble. We have a responsibility to take a stand for what’s right in keeping Jesus and faith as the No. 1 priority in our lives; that stand will be in opposition to what the world calls important and the world will make us pay for it.

As we scatter these seeds of faith in our community and in our neighborhoods and in our work place, we will bump into “rich young rulers” with whom we can have conversations. They may turn away, but the seed will be planted.

We hope that seed was planted in the Rich Young Ruler, that He came to know Jesus one day and is in heaven today. Scripture never tells us. Our mission is simply to plant the seeds, knowing some will grow. So, this story speaks to us in two ways: Make Jesus the center of our lives, and then live lives that scatter the seeds of faith to others.

My Jesus: Moving Beyond Regrets

I've been with people in the last hours of their lives.
I've been with people who were in those last hours and were still cognitive enough to talk with clarity. Many people approach those final moments with lots of regret.

• "I wish I had not worked so hard. I worked to have things that I didn't need and to impress others who didn't even like me. I should have spent more time with my spouse and children, my parents and my siblings, and my friends."
• "I wish I had expressed my feelings more. I should have told people that I loved them, and that I appreciated them, and that I hoped for the best for them."
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends, especially those from my youth. I should have been a better friend; dying should not be the thing that pulls old friends together."

Sad, how death stirs the regrets in us.

And, yet, death can come at any second - at any moment. Ecclesiastes 12:7 reminds us of the hard truth about death, "and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it." Each of us will one day be like dust, but our spirits will remain. For those who know Jesus as the Savior from sin, our spirit will be alive in the New Jerusalem; for those who do not know Jesus as the Savior from sin, the spirit will return to God for His eternal punishment upon it.

Knowing that death is imminent, there should be an urgency to take seriously the living of our lives and to avoid regrets. How do we avoid regrets? Well, we must make amends and apologize where we have hurt others. We must take ownership of poor decisions, and consequences and live forward. 

Easier said than done, right?

I don't lay awake at night regretting money I've not made. I've had enough. I don't regret the homes I might have owned. I've had a roof over my head and a comfortable rocking chair. I don't regret the places I might have gone. I've seen a lot of cool places and I'm content. But, despite taking apologizing to people I've hurt and despite taking ownership of poor decisions, I still find myself living in moments of regret. I regret not living a live that was completely devoted to following Jesus. I regret the 20 years or so that I I thought I followed Jesus, but did not reflect Him in kindness, thoughtfulness, forbearance and attitude. I regret - even moments today - failing to give more of myself away as Jesus did for me.

Satan is in the regret business. He uses regrets to draw us further from Jesus, and to draw us further from friends in faith through the local church. Satan loves to hold up the mirror, point to our reflection and whisper:

• "You aren't worthy."
• "You are a failure."
• "You have been away from church for so long - they will whisper about you when you go back."
• "It's too late to mend bridges with people."

And, Satan loves to move hateful, cynical people into our lives to remind us of our failures, our shortcomings, and poor decisions. He loves to get us looking in mirrors, and he loves when those hateful people hold up the mirrors for us.

Sadly, all of us live with regrets - even when we know they are forgiven. We haven't really forgiven ourselves. And, all of us are easily led into holding up mirrors for others. We do it under the disguise of giving constructive criticism, or counsel, or even - hack, hack - Biblical counseling.

When I consider "My Jesus," the Jesus that I love and the Jesus that I hear and the Jesus that walks with me, I think first about the story from John 8:1-12. I even love the mystery surrounding this passage. It doesn't appear in the ancient Greet manuscripts, but it does appear in most Bible translations, including the King James. It's generally believed that John didn't write this (it sometimes has appeared in Luke), but because it's about Jesus and forgiveness, it mostly appears in John. It's just this "mystery" that makes it so wonderful to me.

Read John 8:1-12. Do you see how the "mirror holders" had gathered around this woman? Do you see how Jesus came alongside her sinfulness? Do you see how Jesus "sent a message" to the mirror holders, and how they faded away in the fullness of Jesus message? Do you see how the woman recognized Jesus as "Lord"? Do you see how Jesus avoid condemning the woman? (Remember, Jesus came to save the world and not condemn it). Do you see how Jesus instructed the woman to turn from her sin and live forward? No regrets.

I love this story.

I've hurt people with my words and my actions. And, I regret it deeply. And, I've tried to seek people our and make amends. Still, when I wrestle with regret, Jesus steps in and says, "Regret no more the days of yesterday, Scott. Live forward in faith. Put an X on the sin of yesterday, live forward and sin no more." That message is why I love my Jesus so very, very much.

• If you have regrets today, Jesus says “Live forward; sin no more” as you walk in faith with Him.
• If you have things that need to be said to others, get them said today, tomorrow, this week.Get those words said with a sense of urgency.
• If you are holding a mirror up to others, trying to shape them into your image rather than God’s image for them, I warn you: You are arm-in-arm with Satan – not with Jesus. If you are throwing rocks at people, the words in the sand are for you. Be very afraid.
• If you have lived through the regrets and now live in peace, be an encourager to others. Turn people to the comfort of Jesus and the faith family of other believers.

Whiter than snow

By Monty Hope
Because of its rarity in these parts, a good snow storm always creates lasting memories.  From a South Carolina perspective, we have had two memory makers this year.  Tuesday, January 25th, marked a nice white covering for the midlands, but that storm will best be remembered for the apocalyptic traffic conditions in Atlanta.  I was stuck in a hotel about an hour north of Atlanta and my wife sent a picture of our home after the snow.  While the picture looked beautiful, I knew the real story under the covering of wintry wonder.

I know our porch has some rotten wood and needs painting.  I know many of the shrubs are >18 years old and need to be pulled up.  They look tired and weak.  I know multiple screens on the back porch have been ripped where my youngest son was practicing his best Lionel Messi routines.  I know there are crabgrass patches in the yard that need to be dug up and replanted with centipede.  I know Zone 4 of my sprinkler system doesn’t work because there is a short in it.  I could go on and on.  In fact, Rene’e can give a more detailed and exhaustive list of the things I never get around to fixing.  Bottom line: That beautiful picture is a cover up.

For some of us, our lives may look like a snow covered landscape.  We look clean or “all together” when seen by others.  Perhaps we are even camouflaging the truth from ourselves.  After all, we are good Baptists.  What possibly could be wrong?  What is the snow we “pile on” to make our lives seem clean / blessed to ourselves and others?

Is it material possessions?  Do we live in the right house in the right neighborhood?  Do we drive the right car? Do we wear the right clothes?  Nothing wrong with having what we have, but do we use these possessions to try and hide the truth?  Could the truth be that we have more debt than we should or that we spend more than we should or that we give less than we should?

Is it our work or occupations?  Do we have the right “position” with the right pay?  Do we use the “position” as a means to hide the strife and struggles we face in our work?  Do we use the job as a way to pretend the grass really is greener?  We know the truth.  You have to cut the grass no matter what side of the fence you are on.

Is it community service?  Do we belong to the right charity or volunteer in the right organization?  When we serve, is it to pile on the snow hiding the fact that our own family is a wreck and we are avoiding the time we need to spend there?

What about religion?  This one hurts.  Do we attend the right church or the right Sunday school class that somehow creates a façade of religion rather than a true relationship with Jesus and fellow believers?
Why do we pile this snow on?  To fool ourselves into thinking all is ok.  Perhaps we are suffering pain, uncertainty, or low self-esteem.  We believe piling snow will solve our problem.  At least it makes it look good.  Do we pile it on to fool our fellow man?  We surely do not want them to know what is going on.  Do we cover with snow to hide the sin that is in our lives rather than to deal with it?  For me, it’s all about pride.  I am a man.  I am an Engineer.  I am a leader.  It is my job to fix things.  So, what do I do?  When I am trying to fix things in my own power, they don’t get fixed; they get covered with snow.  Heck, instead of solving the problem, I often create a deeper mess to have to dig out of.

Jesus said in Matthew 23: 27-28, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.  In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”  Are we whitewashed tombs?  It’s God’s will for his sons and daughters to be blessed.  Please do not hear me say something is wrong with having wonderful possessions, wonderful jobs, or a wonderful church.  I know I just need to evaluate those for what they are: blessings.  I don’t need to use them to cover up what reality may be.

We have an alternative to the cover up plan.  We have the wash away plan.  Psalm 51:7 says, “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”  Isaiah 1:18 says, “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord.  Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”  The wash away plan was perfected 2000 years ago when Christ died on the cross.  There is no need to pile on the snow; there is only a need to be cleansed.  When we know and accept that His blood was shed for us, we are perfected.  We must also recognize that, in this life, we need to stay connected to this cleansing power.  Our world is imperfect; we are imperfect.  When sin creeps in (and it will), we must return to the blood not cover with snow.

If we are true believers in Jesus, we will soon enough know perfection without sin.  Perhaps that day is today?  Are you ready?

The old hymn “I Shall Be Whiter than Snow” by James L. Nicholson states is well.

Lord Jesus, for this I most humbly entreat,
I wait, blessed Lord, at Thy crucified feet,
By faith for my cleansing, I see thy blood flow—
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow,
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Sliding back in faith

Let’s not beat around the bush . . . it’s difficult to be a follower of Jesus.
In Matthew 16:24-25, Jesus said, “If anyone comes after me – follows me – accepts me as Savior – he MUST (1) deny himself; (2) take up his cross; and (3) follow me."

These are the characteristics of a Jesus follower. There is no wiggle room, compromise or rationalization:

1. The believer must deny himself. That means I pray for God's plans for me and not my plans for me. What does God want for me? Where does God need me? 
2. The believer's life must take up a cross: It must produce other believers and as I talk to people about Jesus those conversations will cost me something. Sharing Jesus is often inconvenient, emotionally draining, expensive and leads us out of comfort zones. As it cost Jesus to die on the cross we must expect following Him will cost us something, too.
3. The believer's life is about serving others. It is about following Jesus' example to serve others above self.

It’s easy to see why many, many people won’t follow Jesus. They completely rebel against God's desire to be at the center of their lives through faith in Jesus. But, these good people can't admit they won't follow Jesus. No, they lie about it or rationalize it. Or, they divert conversations to church rather than Jesus. Or, they equate good, moral behavior with being Christian. It's funny how people work so hard to say the right things when they don't mean them.

Ultimately, all followers of Jesus have one thing in common: They build relationships with people, talk about Jesus within those relationships, and introduce people to Jesus so that some may follow Him. If my life fails to produce other believers it's really impossible to say that I am following Jesus.

Following Jesus produces what I call "mountain top" experiences for the believer.
When I am living close to Jesus and God's plan to make disciples through me, I see God at work around me. I see prayers answered and know it's the Lord's work. I wake up in the middle of the night, sensing that God wants me to pray, or study Scripture, or just be quiet and think about Him. I feel the nudging of God to do something or say something. I am convicted of bad attitudes, bad behavior and bad words. When I have any or all of these experiences, really feeling God's presence, there's a euphoria - a spiritual ecstasy. Spiritual ecstasy is defined this way: A state of consciousness characterized by expanded spiritual awareness, visions or absolute euphoria.

Yep, that's what it is like. For me, that euphoria is just being consumed with Jesus - not for my sake, but to be a missionary to others.

But, it's hard to stay on the mountaintop. It's really hard.

I try to eat well. I eat oatmeal every day for breakfast. I eat at least one salad as a meal each day. I lean more toward chicken than beef. I watch sugar very closely. And, when I'm eating well, I feel great - especially when I'm exercising, too.

And, then one of the boys will make brownies. And, I've never met a bad brownie. Brownies call my name, "Scott, Scott . . . here we are . . . eat all of us . . . with ice cream . . . and chocolate syrup."

And, I say, "I'll get back to the oatmeal and salads tomorrow. Today, I'm eating these dang brownies!"

You and live in a sinful world governed by human nature. Human nature is always going to defer to selfishness and sinfulness. We are surrounded by it in our relationships, media messages, and generations of "me first, me first" thinking. Human nature - sinful to the core - is always pulling us down from the mountaintop. Human nature is diabolically in opposition to following Jesus. Following Jesus is contradictory to human nature, and the pull off the mountain is hard. In the costliness of following Jesus, we get lonely, we get discouraged, we get tired, we get bored, and we worry about how relationships will change when Jesus is inserted in them.

We slide backward. We say things like, "Everyone else is living like they want to live and I'm falling behind" or "I need to stay in the group" or "Everyone is going to feel like I'm judging them." We stop praying. We stop studying Scripture. We stop being around other believers. We go through the motions of church attendance, but the joy and peace from the mountaintop just isn't there anymore. And, Jesus says, "Hey, where did you go?" We hide from Him.

I slide back all the time. So do you. We all do. That's not to justify it or to help you find misery in company. It's just to say, we all slide back. The people of God, in the Old Testament, might as well have been on a roller coaster with God. Look at David, he was up and down, up and down, up and down with God.

But, here's the dealt: Followers of Jesus are convicted by the Holy Spirit to turn away from sin and back to Jesus. Followers of Jesus ache at being off the mountain and crave to be back there. Followers of Jesus repent.

All of this high and low, creates a legitimate question: Can a true Christian slide back?
Absolutely. Sliding back is a regression into a spiritual dullness or lack of obedience. But, sliding back will always bring discipline from God in the same way a parent disciplines a child for being disobedient. Hebrews 12:5-11 says we can be encouraged by God's discipline as a reminder that we are His and He love us. Scripture doesn't spell out how God's discipline applies, but the punishment fits the crime and we never consider it unfair. We know we've done wrong, we see the punishment, and we think, "Yep, I deserved that." Thank goodness for God's correction because it reminds us that we are His!

In the life of Scott Vaughan, discipline usually comes in the form of God's hands being removed from me. That's a human interpretation of how I feel. I slide into the valley of "me" and begin to orchestrate my life according to my own will. I can sense God removing his hands and saying, "You want to be in charge? Have at it." There's a unmistakable cloud that comes, bringing an absence of joy and peace. My life feels out of tune. It's a blindness. Most times, I fall into prayerful repentance like a little boy who has been caught breaking a window in an old barn. (Yep, that happened). But, sometimes, I rebel further and then bad attitudes lead to bad decisions, which begin affecting relationships. Hard-heartedness is just around the corner. Somewhere in there, I will hurt someone I love and the shame of it all drives me into repentance, and hopefully (as I cry out to Jesus) to another mountaintop experience.

My spiritual goal is to narrow the gap between mountain top experiences from year to year. I like to say that I'm a "two steps forward and one step backward" believer who finds joy in gaining one step each year.

Want to read a hopeful story of sliding back and redemption? Read the story of Samson in Judges 13-16. Then, look over at Hebrews 11:32. For all his ups and downs in faith, Samson was ultimately listed with the great men of God.

Here are some practices that will help you and me from sliding back with regularity:

1. Examine your faith life regularly. 2 Corinthians 13:5
2. If you find yourself drifting, turn back to faith immediately. Call a believer. Hebrews 3:12-13.
3. Come to God daily for forgiveness and cleansing. 1 John 1:9 . . . Begin your day with prayer. Prayer before you get out of bed and surrender the complete day to the Lord's work through your life.
4. Come daily seeking the Lord with your whole heart. 1 Chronicles 28:9
5. Stay in Scripture. Keep studying and learning daily. Proverbs 4:13.
6. Stay close to other believers. Hebrews 10:25 . . . Lean into other believers for guidance, encouragement and correction. Have 2-3 believers you can talk to about the deep issues of faith. These are not casual friends, but those who use the name of Jesus.
7. Stand firm in faith. Expect difficult times. Matthew 10:22.
8. Persevere. 1 Timothy 4:15-17.
9. Run the race to win it. 1 Corinthians 9:24-25.
10. Remind yourself of what God has done for you in the past. Hebrews 10:32, 35-39.

Parents: How deep is your love?

My role as a dad is changing.

The days are clearly over when I tucked four little boys into bed, told them wild stories of my childhood, listened to their prayers, kissed three of them (Richard wanted a handshake), and said good-night.

Going and gone are the days of coaching them through sports, being at practices and games when I wasn’t coaching, going to school programs, editing their papers, teaching them to drive, and worrying until they closed the front door at midnight.

After Christmas, we put William on an Amtrak to DC, knowing he would arrive at 2 a.m. in a dark train station, and would need to call a cab for a ride home. My internal "daddy clock" woke me up at 2:30 and I texted him, “I’m checking on you.” The response: “Dad, I’m home. I can take care of myself. Go to sleep.”

Even though two of our boys are only 12 miles away, I sometimes go weeks without seeing them – a few days without even a text or a call. Richard is the best: He will text me anytime the Braves make a roster move.

The boys never ask me for money, but I love surprising them with a $50 transfer when I can. I especially love texting, “I’m cooking Sunday night” and they show up for two hours.

Vicki and I put up the Christmas decorations by ourselves this year – first time in about 25 years.

I love each of those boys as much today as I ever have. I was talking to my dad about this changing of the roles and he said, “I look at you and see you at 9, sitting under that big oak tree, reading a book. I know that’s not you, but I love you just as much today as I loved that little boy.”

Deep love. Big love. Authentic love.
The kind of love that wants to know, that wants to be involved, that wants to fix, that wants to see, that wants to talk, that wants to touch, and that wants quality time.

This bond between parent and child – for a lifetime – is so intense that researches say the death of a child – even up to the child’s age of 53 – is psychologically the worst thing that can happen to a human being. Our love of our children is why we get so angry, still, when we hear about parents abusing their children – it crosses the last frontier of our emotional thresholds.

And, yet, in the spiritual world of God, Jesus, Satan, Heaven and Hell – most parents don’t extend their love to those places. And, that questions whether we really love our children at all. Can a believer really love their children if they do nothing toward introducing them to Jesus, and then guiding – by word and example – that child’s spiritual growth until death do you part? I don’t think so. I think a parent's real love begins with the child's salvation and discipleship, and grows up from there. Sadly, most parents don't get that.

According to research:

• 90 % of believing parents said, “Yes” – it’s important for me to pass down my faith to my children.
• 90 % of believing parents said, “Yes” – I believe my child will have a strong faith when he or she graduates from college.
• But in the 166 hours of any given week week, less than 30 percent of believing parents said they do anything more than taking their child to church services.

And, yet, more than 50 percent of those who follow Jesus today give credit to the Christian witness of their parents. Others give credit to a close family member – like a grandparent. Others point to a close family friend. Few credit the institution of church.

Do you see the problem? Parents introduce children to Jesus and help those children grow. Dropping children in a Sunday School class for 40 minutes fewer than 20 times per year and calling that a “faith example” is not loving your children regardless of how much time, money and conversation you have with that child.

Just How Deep Is Your Love?

Proverbs 22:6 reads, “Direct (teach) your children onto the right path (the gospel), and when they are older, they will not leave it.” The right path being the right path of faith in Jesus. Teaching, directing – means one-on-one or one-to-few faith conversations. Parents:

• Do your children know your faith story? 
• Do your children see you with a Bible? 
• Do you lead your child in praying far from the table blessing? 
• Do your children see you ministering in and through Christian community? 
• Do your children see you living the life you want for them, doing the right thing over the smart thing? 

How much do you really love your children? Do you love them enough to see them know Jesus as their Savior? Do you love them enough to see them surrounded by their own Christian friends? Do you love them enough to guide them through relationships toward the spouse God has chosen for them? Do you love them enough to set in motion a generational legacy of faith?

Are you continuing to coach up your children in faith after they've left the nest? Are you continuing to live a day-to-day faith example even in empty nest?

For those who let childhood slip away from faith, the beauty of our faith is that in Jesus each day is new. I can’t tell you how to be a parent to an adult child because I’m learning myself. But, I can tell you that children never stop watching, never stop listening to their parents they respect. 

• Be respectful. 
• Improve your own spiritual life and your priorities, be sincere and authentic and faithful, and reflect Jesus into all of your relationships. Watch the power of Jesus unfold in the lives of your adult children.
• Make Jesus your priority – anchor your decisions in Scripture and let it be known – pray for your children and let them hear it – live faith beyond church attendance. Watch the power of Jesus roll out. I believe it.

How Deep Is Your Love?
How fully committed are you to your children and to your family and to your legacy of faith?

Men: Committed To Your Family, Wife

In 1998, I had opportunity to attend a week-long leadership event at The Gallup Institute in Lincoln, NE. These are same Gallup folk who do all the Gallup Research projects. While they were putting students through a series of tests, interviews and personal assessment, Gallup was also using what they learned as research.

A part of our week included a visit to the University of Nebraska, where we heard a lecture about former Cornhusker head coach Tom Osborne, who had retired after 25 years. Osborne went on to serve in Congress and served as Nebraska’s athletic director before retiring last year.

In 25 years of coaching, Osborne’s Cornhuskers never won fewer than nine games in a season, finished in the top 15 for 24 or 25 seasons, finishing 24th in 1990. They won national championships in 1994 and 1995 and shared the 1997 crown. They won or shared 12 Big Eight conference titles and one Big 12 conference title. His record was 255-49-3 giving him an 83.6 percent winning percentage. He won 250 games faster than any coach in Division 1-A history.

Here’s what I learned about Osborne’s success. He coached play-by-play, series-by-series, believing that if he won plays, accumulated x number of rushing yards in a game, had punts that averaged x number of yards, his team would likely win the game. He coached play-by-play, trusting that the cumulative of small successes would end with a scoreboard victory. If you take care of the day-to-day, the scoreboard will take care of itself.

Men, it's the same with our marriages. And, spiritually healthy marriages lead to spiritually healthy families.

In Ephesians 5:22-23, Paul writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

Men, if you keep reading down through v. 30, you will see that Paul overwhelmingly writes to husbands, who must serve as the spiritual leaders of their homes. We read this passage of Scripture and snicker at the notion of submissive wives, but Paul's words are really for men in the role of husband. I believe the husband is the spiritual leader of his home, and I believe that as he leads his family according to fullness of Scripture, loving and respecting his wife, the family should respect and follow him. Ephesians 5:22-23 is not a privilege for men, but a responsibility for men.

Healthy marriages begin with a man who is committed to Jesus and who is committed to leading his family in faith. The Lord leads the husband to lead his family and the man's leadership will always be squared with Scripture. Public opinion won't affect his leadership. And, the man's leadership will always begin with love for his wife.

All too often, we get focused on the big picture of a successful marriage. What's needed is less scoreboard-watching and more day-by-day love of our spouses. I just believe that if we can string together enough great days in marriage, the long-term health of my marriage will be just fine. And, as a man, that day-to-day investment in a great marriage begins with me. So, here are some thoughts for all of us spiritual leaders:

1. Love your wife as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25). How did Christ love the church? No-limit sacrifice without looking back. You do anything you can for your wife and you don’t worry about what she does for you. Your sacrifice is a gift.
2. Love your wife as you love yourself. (Ephesians 5:28-33). You care for your body every day, brushing your teeth, eating your meals, exercising, reading . . . every day should begin with this question, “Sweetheart, what can I do for you today?”
3. Be considerate as you live with your wife, with respect (1 Peter 3:7). The Bible also says if men neglect this command their prayers will be hindered. How do you show respect to someone? Don’t speak badly about your wife in casual conversation. Don’t embarrass her. If it gets on her nerves, stop doing it.
4. Do not be harsh with your wife. (Colossians 3:19). If you have a sensitive wife, take a deep breath before you lose your temper or speak harshly. Think about how you feel when employers or supervisors at work treat you that way.
5. The husband’s body does not belong to him alone, but to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). A good lover starts with the other person’s sexual satisfaction. Make it about her; romance always wins the day.
6. Rejoice in your wife (Proverbs 5:18-19) – Your wife and your wife alone is the only woman in your life. She is the queen of your life. You should look on no other woman – friend or stranger or porn star – in the same way you look on your wife.
7. And that women may be dressed in simple clothing, with a quiet and serious air; not with vanity about her hair and gold or jewels or expensive clothing (1 Timothy 2:9). Your wife should not be another man’s stumbling block in thought or deed, and you should love your wife without the makeup just as much as you love her with the makeup.
8. Call your wife ‘blessed’ and praise her. (Proverbs 31:28-29). Don’t take your wife for granted, praise her sacrifices and actions for the family.
9. Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body. (Song of Solomon 4:7). God made your wife. God makes no mistakes. Love every part of her. If there’s something you want to change about her, start first with yourself.
10. Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way. (Hebrews 13:4) Matthew 5:28, Jesus reminds us that where your treasure is located there is your heart. Make sure your treasure begins with your wife.

Win each day and win the game.

Committed

I had lunch with a friend this past week, and he began telling me about a half marathon he wants to run next month. Much to my surprise, he began telling me about his training over the past several months. I was surprised because I had never heard him talk about the training. Really, you run?

“I don’t talk about it much,” he said. “People get over-focused on finishing time. My goal is to maintain my pace and finish the race. If I can push through the pain and exhaustion, and a bad knee, and finish the race, I don’t care about my time or my place.”

In the 8th grade, I joined the Boy Scouts with all of my best childhood friends. We had been in Cub Scouts together and this was a natural progression. We thought it would be fun.

But, quickly, we realized that while Cub Scouts was an after-school activity with our moms involved, Boy Scouts was a lot more serious and required a lot more commitment.

• Some of my friends dropped out pretty quickly because they thought wearing the uniform was silly – other friends would make fun of them or shun them for being in “Boy Scouts.”
• Some of my friends dropped out when they realized you actually had to attend meetings on Monday evenings, from 7-9 p.m., at the VFW clubhouse.
• Some of my friends dropped out when they realized you had to do something. You had to buy a Scout handbook and use it, and work on advancing toward being a better Boy Scout measured by rank (Tenderfoot, Second Class, First Class, Star, Life and Eagle) – and by leadership position, patrol leaders and assistants, quartermaster, librarian, or the chef crew.
• Some dropped out when they realized we went camping in the muggy summer heat and freezing mountain winter, and we couldn’t take the comforts of home, and we ate beans out of a can.
• Some dropped out because others dropped out. Without my friends involved, is this really a place for me to be involved?

Within two years, I was in Scouts without all my close friends. I was surrounded by new boys that I didn’t know that well.

I began looking for an exit strategy. I stopped attending meetings, I stopped working on my advancement, and that summer – I just announced that I was quitting. Well, not really quitting, but I figured I could easily just fade away and no one would really notice. After a while, my parents would stop making me to Scouts. After all, it was a 20-mile round trip drive to the scout meetings every Monday evening.

I had missed several weeks, and one summer evening I received a call from our scoutmaster, Mr. Dick DeWitt. Mr. DeWitt was a airline pilot and he talked to us like young men - not like little boys. He communicated respect and we respected him.

“Scott,” he said. “I want to talk to you about commitment.” Mr. DeWitt was a Delta pilot, and he was educated. He didn’t talk to me like a 15-year-old. He talked to me like the man he saw me becoming. “I know when a boy joins our troop if he will stick with it or if he will quit.  I know when a boy joins if he’s really got a spine up his back or if he’s just following a crowd in the door. All those boys who came with you, I expected every one of them to quit – but I did not expect it of you. I want you to be here next Monday night, at the meeting, and I want you to finish this race.”

I did stay in Scouts. I got my Eagle Scout award - Scout's highest honor. I was initiated into Scouting's Order of the Arrow. My Wolf Patrol dominated competitions in the troop and beyond. When I graduated high school, I was an junior assistant scoutmaster of the troop. Joe Thornton, whom I didn't really know when I joined scouts, became one of my closest high school friends and a great encourager. The rest of them became like brothers to me.

When I got my Eagle in December 1976, there was a reception after the ceremony at the local United Methodist Church. Mr. DeWitt pulled me off to the side, away from everyone and said, “If you commit to something, finish the race. Our world is full of quitters and people who want to lurk in the shadows – no commitment. Don’t be that person. And, don’t let those you love be those people.”

Mr. DeWitt was a Presbyterian. He didn’t reference 2 Timothy 4:7, but when I hear that verse, I often think of him. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” Certainly, it speaks to my spiritual journey and finishing it well, but it also reminds me to be "all in" when I commit to join something or engage something.

In this passage of Scripture, Paul is coming to the end of his life and he’s writing to Timothy. He is saying, “I have been true to my calling – to preserve the gospel and make Jesus known.” Note that Paul does not say he won the race – just that he finished it. In v. 8, he speaks confidently than in finishing the race, “There is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord will give me (when I see Him).”

In the verses leading up to this popular Scripture verse, look at what else Paul tells Timothy:

• Preach the word. Make the gospel known. Each of us should be intentional about making the gospel known.
• Be persistent whether the time is favorable or unfavorable. Make the most of every opportunity.
• Correct, rebuke and encourage tempered with patience and (Scripture as your guide) . . . for (v. 3) people will accumulate teachers who tell them what they want to hear (not what they need to hear through Scripture) and they will turn their ears away from truth and truth aside to myths.
•  Keep your head in all situations. Endure suffering. Proclaim the gospel. Be involved in ministry until you die . . . v. 6 “for I am already being poured out.”

Here’s what I take from this – not as a Sunday School teacher, but as a single lone believer – I must be fully committed to the race and finish it. It’s not possible for me to approach faith half-heartedly or over-simplified or privately or seasonally. Scripture does not allow for a rest stop because I’m suddenly an empty-nester. Empty-nest may alter or slow my Christian Community involvement, but I am not excused from Jesus’ directive to make disciples. Life's circumstances do not excuse me from Jesus' direction to make disciples or the Holy Spirit's leading me to Christian Community.

My personal faith journey must guide everything else in my life – family, friends, workplace – everything. There is no room for me in the shadows of faith, including the Jesus’ church. Scripture, prayer, Christian Community, sharing the gospel – these continually mark the race that I must finish. And, you must finish it, too.

New Year's Resolutions

Successful New Year's Resolutions always involve two things: Passion and Accountability. You have to want to do something, and you have to have someone or something that wags a finger in your direction when you lose sight of your goal. It also helps if you can brag a little through social media . . . “Hey, look at me, I accomplished this . . .” Of course, there’s risk with going public . . .especially if you backslide. The person whose says, “Hey, I lost 30 pounds” on social media looks foolish when they gain back 50.

My mother’s mom was a Middle School teacher for 36 years. To keep her mind sharp, she resolved to do two things: She kept a daily journal of the day’s weather and important sports’ scores – like the daily Braves' score. She also worked a daily crossword puzzle. She also quit smoking. She lived to be 92. She left us with more than 500 small wire bound, steno notebooks. In early August 1998, at 87, she wrote of one day, “Hot.” The next day, she wrote, “Still very hot.” The next day, she wrote, “Hot as hell.”

While I respected and respect in memorial my grandmother's resolutions, her approach was short-sighted and not a Biblical approach to life management or what I call "life stewardship." You see, the best resolutions for us - as believers - are those that help us live longer and live better, maximizing our opportunities for sharing the gospel and making disciples. If I lose weight just for me, well, that's sinful. But, if I lose weight as part of a strategy to improve my quality of life to better serve others, well, that's using Resolutions as part of spiritual growth.

The Bible does not promote or denounce our little habit of New Year’s Resolutions. To the Lord, there’s no difference in Dec. 31 or Jan. 1. But, Scripture does promote taking care of ourselves while we are on this Earth. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 : Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to  yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

The No. 1 resolution every year is to lose weight or get in physical shape. The reason most people is because they do it for themselves rather than as preparation of themselves to serve others. Also, people want quick results with minimal effort. That never happens.

Since the 8th grade, when I was a chubby-cheeked teenager, I've battled a weight problem. I love to cook, I love to eat my cooking. I also love ice cream. In 2011, I went to the doctor for a routine office visit and my blood pressure was surprisingly high. So high, in fact, that my doctor put me on blood pressure medicine - a pretty high dosage. My youngest brother, whose is also overweight, has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. In December 2013, weighing the most I've ever weighed and eye-balling another increased waist size, I bemoaned my physical condition. My oldest son said, "Dad, if you don't do anything to change, you are just going to get heavier and probably die sooner. You think that's what God wants from you?"

As a believer, I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of not finishing well. I want to finish this life well. So, in January 2013, I resolved to eat better and exercise daily, starting with just a 20-minute daily walk around the neighborhood. Quickly, it became something I wanted to do. I joined a gym with an accountability partner. I bought a $5 annual membership to the church gym for the days I didn't go to the more formal gym. On my walks, I learned that I could worship while walking. I listened to faith music, listened to sermons and prayed as I walked 20, 30, 40, and then 60 minutes a day.

In July, I went for my annual physical. I was a little bummed at the scale weight - I had expected to lose more weight. But, my doctor showed me the more important numbers like cholesterol and blood sugar and heart rate. All of those were the best they had been in 22 years. No kidding. My cholesterol fell through the floor. He told me what my gym partner had been telling me - don't be consumed by the scale. Be consumed by new energy and better blood / sugar numbers.

In the past two years, Vicki and I have been faced with dementia. We have walked this journey with Vicki's mama. In 2012, I was convicted about spending far too much time in front of the television and computer screens, and not enough time reading and learning. The best way to keep your body in shape is to exercise it; the best way to keep your mind in shape is to exercise. And, so, I resolved to read 25 books per year and 200 by 2019 - when I turn 60. I read at bedtime and have found no problem in reading 25 books per year.

I go to bed at 10 p.m. and I read at least one chapter or up to 30 minutes. Going to bed earlier, I've found I get up earlier - usually wake up without an alarm clock by 5:30 or 6. There's something to that "early to bed and early to rise" maxim because I do feel better all the way around. As for accountability, well, Vicki's an avid reader and we talk about the books we read.

Again, and I stress this, taking care of yourself is about being in "shape" for ministry - not to brag on Facebook, impress people at the beach, or impress the person in the mirror. In fact, Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4:8, “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” Godliness is the end goal of all resolutions to improve self. Anything else is likely to fail.

Closing thoughts:

• Make sure your motivation to improve self is for Kingdom service.
• Read Scripture and Pray about how God can use you.
• Don't be discouraged if you slip while on the road to improving your self. Don't use slipping as an excuse, but as motivation to get back on track.
• Expect God to use you. He will. He can. God can use you where you aren't capable of serving alone. In that, life becomes a real adventure!