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Oh, yes, we do. We even have a new Prime Time television show this fall titled, “Revenge.”
I love the Clint Eastwood movie, “Unforgiven.” Clint plays a retired outlaw, who goes with a friend (played by Morgan Freeman), to avenge a brutality against a small group of prostitutes in a small Western town. The women are contracting with Clint to bring revenge to the men who hurt one of them. At the film’s height, Freeman’s character is murdered, opening the door for Clint’s character to exact significant revenge upon all the bad men in the town. The movie won the Academy Award for Best Picture. Clint won Best Actor; Gene Hackman, as the worst of the bad men, won Best Supporting Actor. The film also received an Academy Award for Best Editing. It’s a revenge movie – applauding revenge for crimes against women and crimes against best friends. Who in the world wouldn’t applaud that? And, millions of Americans did. The American Film Institute regards it as one of the top 100 movies of all time, and in the top 5 of Westerns. We just love to exact revenge and to see bad things happen to others who do us wrong.
In my 30s, I made the mistake of going into business with a good friend. We were just getting the business off the ground, when life dealt his career and marriage a significant blow. Wrought with this stress and depression, he walked away from our business, leaving me a few thousand dollars of capital debt to pay off. He also sold some of the equipment for quick cash. To make things worse, our business plan put operating the business in his lap. I had no interest in operating the business alone. When I tried to approach him about this folly I suddenly inherited, he began ignoring my telephone calls and refusing to answer his door. I got an attorney – not because I needed one. I got an attorney because I wanted one; I wanted to exact some revenge for the wrong that I had been done.
A few years later, I did something to offend someone. Sitting in my office, he suddenly appeared at the door. “Can I have a minute?” he asked as he sat down. He began this way, “Scott, I just want to apologize to you.” I felt like someone had stuck me through the heart with a knife. He continued, “I don’t know why you did what you did, but I have been guilty of telling others, talking bad about you, and carrying around a lot of anger toward you. I just don’t want to live this way any longer. And, so, I forgive you, and hope that you will forgive me.” I wanted to vomit. I knew that I had offended him, and the Holy Spirit was suffocating me over it. I was consumed with thinking about this man and carrying the guilt of my actions. I reciprocated his apology, and started trying to explain why I had acted the way I did. He held up his hand. “No explanation needed. I just want to be able to see you in public, shake hands, and know that everything is good between us.” Of all the men I’ve ever known, I hold him as one of the most admirable and gracious to ever cross my life. God used him to teach me a big lesson, and turn my heart, too.
Within days, I called my former friend regarding our failed business venture from years before. “Hey,” I said. Recognizing my voice, he began to sob into the phone. When he calmed down enough to hear me, I apologized for the hateful way I had responded to him 7 years before. I apologized for over-focusing on business and under-focusing on the life he was trying to hold together. I apologized for so quickly ignoring our friendship. I apologized for caring more about the world than I did for him. And, he said, “For years, I have been praying for this opportunity to talk.” And, he began to explain, from his perspective, why what had happened had indeed happened. “No explanation needed,” I said. “Let’s just put a big X on yesterday, and start over today.” The miles separate us, but our friendship has been restored, and we no longer live in guilt, shame, and anger. Today, I would close that conversation with prayer, but back then I was still growing in my faith.
Romans 12:14-21 reminds us that we *sin against God* in ways that no human can sin against us. And, yet, Jesus sacrificed Himself on the cross to forgive those sins. God could have exacted revenge against us, but He sent Jesus to save us. Through our worst transgressions, God loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die for those who would believe in Him. So, that becomes our model – not our suggestion. Friends, we can’t cherish revenge and hurt feelings and hatred and the negative on the one hand and follow Jesus at the same time. All negative that we feel toward others is rooted in evil, which is the calling card of Satan. We can’t hold hands with Satan and evil and also hold hands with Jesus. We must choose. This passage in Romans calls us to pray for enemies, love them and serve them, and forgive them even if they *don’t* ask for it. We can trust that God will exact punishment toward them in the same way He will exact it toward us when we hurt others with words or actions.
We are called to live in peace with one another, living lives that allow us to stay in good relationship with anyone and everyone all the time. In this culture, it may be one of the toughest life changes we are told to make. But, we are told to make it nonetheless.
