In September 2008, our German Shepherd, Queen, died after being bitten by a snake. Normally, a single snake bite would not kill a 100 pound, healthy German Shepherd, but it was the right bite in the right place, and she could not recover from it.
Matthew had never known a day of his life without Queen. And, it was his first encounter with the death of anything beloved. So, he was heartbroken. When I went to pay the veterinarian’s final bill, I took Matthew with me so that the veterinarian could console him – helping him understand what had happened and why death was a relief to Queen’s agony.
In the few days after Queen’s death, I thought it best to get another dog pretty quickly. But, none of us wanted another German Shepherd. It would be impossible for us to replace Queen, and another Shepherd would keep reminding us of her. So, I asked the veterinarian to recommend a good dog for a boy of nine, and she recommended that we get a beagle. Yes, I know, a howling, digging, and overly-playful beagle. “Every boy needs a beagle,” she said.
Not knowing anything about beagles, I asked her where Mathew and I might go see one and learn more about them. She directed us to an area breeder who raised beagles, taught them to rabbit hunt, and sold them across the country. I called him, and Matthew and I, on a Monday evening, went for a beagle visit.
It was a first-class operation. I learned more about the personality and temperament of beagles in 30 minutes than I suppose most beagles owners really understand. As we received an education worthy of The Discovery Channel, he pointed to female and said, "If you want one, I can let you have her for $100. She's a year old and completely up to date on shots. I can give you her health history.” And, he only wanted $100.
We became beagle owners.
Perhaps I was the victim of shrewd salesmanship because I believe he intentionally talked of the sale with Matthew’s ears on full alert. But, Matthew was happy, and our family is very comfortable with dogs. And, so we left with a one-year-old, full-blooded beagle that we named Lucy. When I completed the ownership transfer with the American Kennel Club, I learned that Lucy’s sire was paid royally for his stud services.This further added legitimacy to the man’s rabbit-hunting operation and to Lucy’s pedigree.
Let me add a bit of disclaimer. We love dogs. We are not indoor dog people. Vicki and I have had beloved dogs all of our lives. My family even raised full-blooded Cocker Spaniels. But, we are a family that understands dogs are dogs and people are people. We don't ever get that confused.
Lucy, just like Queen, was going to be an outdoor dog. Well, sort of.
As soon as we got home with Lucy, we noticed something was wrong with her. Though the September temperatures were warm, she was noticeably shivering – her heart racing out of control. As the boys moved in to love her, she retreated. I understood that all the noise was probably overwhelming to a dog with very limited human contact, and so we wrote it off to first-day jitters. I put her in Queen's extra large kennel box that night so she could stay indoors with us. I didn't want to put this terrified dog in our back yard for the night.
Over the next several days, the fear did not go away. In the back yard, Lucy went behind the shed, cowered in the underbrush, and stayed there all day. Where was the playful beagle? Where was the diggingest dog? Where was the howler?
We decided to continue bringing her in the house at night, if for no other reason but the human contact. So, at night, I went out to get her. I would approach her and she would run from me. She would not let us get near her. She did not threaten to bite me. She never snarled or growled. She didn't whimper. She just ran and hid - and hid well. And, she trembled. We tried everything.
Hoping to connect with Lucy, we tried everything to approach her in the yard and point her, at night, to the light and warmth of the house. But, she would not respond. Finally, I took a lesson from my childhood around the hog farm. We developed a system of corrals, forcing Lucy into smaller and smaller spaces until we could pick her up and bring her into the house.
When we brought her in, one of us would sit in the floor, holding her, consoling her as she trembled. We noticed that she never once soiled the kennel box, and so one night we left her out of the box. The next morning, she was in the exact same place we had left her the night before – a comfortable pet bed on the floor. She had not moved, or explored. And, no accidents. I opened the back door and she ran outside, and hid. In fact, let me interject here: In five years of coming in - or being brought in - at night, Lucy has never explored another part of our home. Once inside, she goes to her bed, curls and rests . . . and never moves until the next morning.
Days, weeks and months passed. We watched Lucy get more comfortable with the back yard, playing by herself. She took an old tennis ball, nudged it forward and then chased it down. We had a big oak tree cut down and she would perch on the stump like the ruler of the back yard. She owned the back yard, and we would spy on her through the window blinds. But, if we ever opened the back door or she saw us in the window, she would run behind the shed and hide.
And, at night, even on rainy and cold nights, she would not come inside. We physically had to bring her inside. Some nights, I can walk to the far corner of the yard, leave the back door open, and she will run inside on her own. But, she will not run inside if any of us are near the door.
Once inside, she curls up on the floor. One of us will often sit by her, love on her, and offer her a dog treat. She doesn't love back. She just rests.
Last year, Matthew and I built a small patio and fire bit. We are out there a lot, and I thought surely she would come up to the patio and sit with us. Nope. As we sit around the patio, she is hiding over behind the shed or under the shed. I even went to her one evening, and brought her to the fire pit. As soon as I let her go, she ran away.
This past winter, on a particularly cold, wet and miserable day, I looked outside to see Lucy cowering under the shed. I went to get her. I opened the door to our home and moved far from it, but she would not run inside. I went to the shed, and lay down on the ground, looking at her. I began talking to her.
“Lucy, why won’t you come inside?” I asked her. “Inside, it’s bright and warm, and we all love you. Out here, you are all alone, it’s dark, and it’s cold, and it’s lonely. Why are you so content to stay out here? Why has this gotten so comfortable for you?”
She just looked at me.
“Lucy, we aren’t trying to clean you up before we bring you in. Not one time in five years have we tried to give you a bath as a requisite to coming inside the house,” I said. “It doesn’t matter to us." (We do bathe her, obviously, but as therapy it's always in the tub with warm water.)
She just looked at me.
“Inside there are people who genuinely love you. Even big Richard loves you though he doesn’t show it like Matthew shows it,” I said.
Finally, I got far enough under the shed that she let me get a foot, and then I inched her to me until I carried this mentally wounded, dirty, wet dog into the comfort of our house.
As I hope you understand . . . this is not a dog story.
I look around Lexington. I see hundreds if not thousands of people who would have gotten comfortable in the dark, cold, and lonely world that we live in. They have gotten comfortable with the lie that being a follower of Jesus is limited to an hour of dress-up on Sunday morning. Nothing about this world loves you and me – not one thing of this world loves us. Only in faith with Jesus, can we experience love that can't be defined. John 15:19: “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.”
I don’t understand why these good people won’t come inside of faith, where the pressure and pain of this world is made joyful and peaceful and hopeful. I don’t understand why people value this world more than they value Jesus, and, yes, they do, we do – all the time. I know people inside of faith are noisy, imperfect, and do stupid things – but it’s still a better place than living in the dark. John 3:19: “ And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil.” (Any deed grounded in self-fulfillment is evil).
God doesn't expect any of us to come to Him in perfection. He doesn't ask us to get squeaky clean before we come to Him. He sent His son to us just as we are, and Jesus just says "follow me." Jesus never says, "take a shower, and then follow me." As the old hymn reminds us, "Just As I Am, I Come." You and I cannot get clean enough for a Holy God, and God knows that. He judges sin, yes, but he loves us enough to send Jesus to be with us. Psalms 130.3-4 – If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness… I don't understand why people put up barriers, preventing their own faith from taking root.
I don’t understand why people can’t see that God loves us so much that He sent His son to save us. God didn’t say, “Find me on your own or go to hell.” No, he sent his son to crawl under the shed and be with us – to find us where we are and to love us right there. John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” Jesus is still in the business of coming to us every day and saying, "Follow me."
I don’t understand why a loving God never gives up on us. No matter how much we resist Him. No matter how much we resist His love for us, God never gives up on us. He is always opening the door and calling us inside. It breaks my heart that people can’t let God love them the way He wants to love them. Philippians 1:6: "God is the one who began this good work in you, and I am certain that he won't stop before it is complete on the day that Christ Jesus returns."
What about you?
Are you living in the light or are you comfortable in the darkness?
Perhaps you have even experienced the light, but still find a lot of contentment in the world. You can't serve two masters.
What’s stopping you from going into the dark places and talking to people about Jesus?
What’s stopping you from running to faith, full throttle, and discovering what God needs to do through your life?
How long will you live this life, day after day, living tomorrow just like today, knowing it’s better on the inside of faith, but unable to fully commit to it? How long will you waste the precious time that God has given you on this Earth to reflect the Savior who loves you?
Today, do something. Turn to Jesus. Come inside and fear no more.
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