Why is forgiveness so hard?

By Chris Hammett

If someone asks you what the world needed most in these days of terrorist attacks, school shootings, wars, and all types of other issues what would your answer be?

Then if that same person asks you what the church needed most what would you answer?

When I think of these two questions I am led to think that the only relief from the world's issues will be revival. I mean a true deep spirited turning to Jesus - the type Paul had when he encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus. I also believe this is the same for the Church, learning to allow the Holy Spirit to transform us more and more into likenesses of Christ. Today, I want to direct your thoughts to an issue the church faces at all levels. 

THE COST OF FORGIVENESS!

Why is forgiveness so hard? Why do we all think we have the right to hold grudges? What are some things we don’t want to forgive? In a class this large I can only believe there are all sorts of opportunities to extend forgiveness, and also hold grudges. These can be big items, or at least to us they seem big. They can be small. I have had chances over the past few weeks to encounter several people who wanted to tell me why they had every right to hold a grudge. A couple weeks ago Sharon and I were doing some much needed spring cleaning and we came across a box of various items we had stashed under our bed. As we started to pilfer through the items we were taken back to a time in our life’s journey that we both would love to forget. As we found these items I was transformed to a time of pain, hurt, and despair. Sharon quickly recognized the change in me and asked,  "What did you find?" I handed her the findings and she quickly recognized them and knew why my countenance had changed. She reminded me that that was the past and we were over it now. This did lead to several questions I have asked myself over the past couple weeks. 

First, If I truly extended forgiveness then why did I keep these items?

Second, Why is it so hard to forgive?

Third, When are we commanded to forgive?

Fourth, do we forgive without being asked to forgive?

Let’s look at a few examples in scripture and see how followers of God extended forgiveness.

Genesis 45: 3-5 - How would you reply? Joseph would have had every right to be bitter. How can someone have this level of forgiveness in their hearts? I propose the closer you are to the will of God the more understanding and forgiving you are. Joseph spent years as a slave only to then be thrown in prison before he was put in a place to realize God’s purpose.

1 Samuel 24:1-7 - What would you do? Would you have taken this opportunity to remove a clear and present threat to your very life? Remember also that God had already removed his hand from Saul and passed His anointing on David. David could have taken this opportunity to begin his reign as King.  He instead chooses to defer to God’s timing and not raise a hand to Saul. As a side note in 2 Samuel the first chapter I find it interesting how David responded when Saul did die. David spent years of running and hiding and never being able to rest while Saul pursued him.

John 23:34 - What would you do? This is probably the most under emphasized area of the Easter Story. We focus on the Trial, the Sentence of Death, The two Thieves, the Death, the Burial, the empty tomb and the Resurrection. All are greatly important but how often do we take time to really focus on the three words My Savior uttered on behalf of those killing Him. Jesus gave his own life for the ones who were executing Him!