Be, Know and Do

By John Wright

If you are going to teach, it’s usually good to teach a subject that you know something about. So at the very least, this lesson should discuss something that I should know a little something about. For those of you that don’t know, the Army and God’s will brought my family here to South Carolina. For the past 2 and ½ years, I have had the awesome privilege of teaching leadership classes at USC’s Army ROTC Department.

In the Army, our leadership doctrine identifies 16 leadership competencies. They are all listed on a form that we call a “Blue Card” which is used to evaluate a Cadet on his or her leadership abilities. On the top of the Blue Card are our values, our absolutes if you will, Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. Then on the bottom are the leadership competencies. They include such things as physical fitness, resiliency, interpersonal tact, communication skills, and leading by example. These competencies are further organized into a model based on all these attributes being things that a leader should Be, Know or Do. I believe that Jesus was the greatest leader that ever lived and fully exemplified the Be, Know, and Do model.

So, let’s begin with “Be”. In my opinion, there is no greater example of being as a leader as God coming to earth as a man in the person of Jesus. In Philippians 2, Paul explains it so beautifully and I like how it is translated in the New Living Bible

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.6 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross

The great singer and songwriter, Rich Mullins, the man who wrote Christian classics like “Awesome God” and “Step by Step”, never performed or recorded what I think was his most profound song. The song was titled “A Man of No Reputation” and was inspired by this passage. Mullins could never perform it because when he thought about the level of humility that Christ brought on himself out of love for us, he didn’t think he could keep his composure. Fortunately, this song was recorded after Rich’s death and I recommend that you listen to it some time. Just have some Kleenex handy.

Recently, Pastor Mike preached yet another of his great sermons .The subject was Jesus and the woman at the well. One of the things that strike me about this story is just how the humanity of Jesus is displayed. As a quick recap, Jesus chose to travel through Samaria, a region of the area inhabited by a group of people that were despised by the Jews. In fact, any self-respecting Jew at that time would not have been caught dead in Samaria. So here’s Jesus in Samaria, sitting beside a well when a woman walks up. And this is how John recounts the story in Chapter 4:

7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans. (NIV)

Now, let’s think about this. “Will you give me a drink?” Compare this passage with Genesis 1:

6 And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” 7 So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. 8 God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.9 And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good. (NIV)


So, why was the creator of all water, earth, and sky lowering himself to ask this half-breed, tramp, Samaritan woman to give him a drink? And I truly believe that he was thirsty because if you remember that one of the things that he cried down from the cross was; “I thirst.” It’s very simple. Jesus was “being” and a huge part of being is getting your hands dirty, making yourself uncomfortable, not worrying about the opinions of others and building relationships. That’s why Jesus asked this woman for a drink of water because he was getting ready to change her life. So how are we doing with being? If you are we are in a position of leadership, do we merely see those that we supervise as tools to use to check things off our list and further our own selves. Is the homeless person holding a cardboard sign at the interstate on-ramp an indicator of the deplorable situation in this nation that “someone” needs to do “something” about or, instead, is he an opportunity given straight from the hand of God to pour part of ourselves into someone else?

Now let’s discuss knowing. Have you ever been in a bookstore and seen all the books about leadership and management? Many of these books will tell you that an effective leader needs to clearly communicate their vision to their organization. In the 22nd Chapter of his gospel, Matthew says this:

35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (NIV)

Pretty eloquent for a homeless man with no formal education who grew up blue-collar in a hick town, huh?

We must remember that Jesus knew and used the scriptures.
The Ten Commandments on at least 4 separate occasions, Leviticus, Isaiah, Psalms, when face-to-face with Satan himself, those are just a few of the over 40 occasions that Jesus quotes what we would now call the Old Testament in the four gospels.
It doesn’t surprise me that this series “The Bible” on History Channel is doing so well. People are thirsty to know the word and nature of our wonderful Heavenly Father. Check out this amazing illustration. Pick up a bible, put your finger on the account of Adam and Eve’s sin. Now notice how much more there is in the Bible between that account in Genesis and the end of Revelation. In those pages there are many characters and stories, but from that incident in the Garden of Eden the Bible is really all about Jesus. It’s all about God’s desire to love us his children and have a relationship with us. So how are we doing with the attribute of knowing? Do we live 1 Peter 3:15 that says:

15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. (NIV)

OK, now for the final attribute of doing. A trait that most effective leaders have is charisma. How’s this for an amazing illustration of charismatic leadership:

18 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him.21 Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. Matthew (NIV)

Wow, now that’s making a first impression! I know that the Bible is perfect and God has ordained what is in the scriptures but wouldn’t you love to know what was going through those four men’s minds right then? What made them decide to drop everything and to follow Jesus? I often tell my students that they will never be good leaders unless they learn to be great followers. Right now, in our men’s Bible Study (MOVERS ) we are studying the book “Multiply” by Francis Chan (I knew that I could find a way to get a shameless plug in here). The cornerstone scripture of this book is this:
16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew (NIV)

Of course, we know this passage as the Great Commission, not the Great Recommendation, or the Great List of Really Good Suggestions. And, if that doesn’t make you wiggle in your seat a little, check this out:

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew (NIV)

I’m not making any of this up. I’m just trying to move the plank in my eye enough that I can see my Bible and share some scripture. You see, it doesn’t matter if you are a teacher, manager, coach, mom, or dad, if your identity is based in your relationship with God Almighty through his son, Jesus, you are a leader. Therefore, Jesus is the perfect role model for any leader. Furthermore this is what Bible says about our commissioning as leaders.

(all from the NIV)
Exodus 19:6
6 you[a] will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’

John 1: 12-13
2 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

1 Peter 2:5
5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ

Revelation 1:5-6
To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, 6 and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.

We are greatly loved, mighty and powerful indeed. I pray you have a great week and you start to be, know and do like you never have before.

Love, Honor & Cherish

Marriage is important to God. It is serious business.

You and I were created for relationships, and the Bible is all about relationships - our vertical relationship with God, through Jesus, and our relationships with others.
St. Augustine made the statement, “our hearts are restless until we find our rest in God.” We were designed for a relationship with Him.
God created us to have relationship with others – people we could live and learn with. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 12:18-21,  “But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.” In preparation for this lesson, I read this statement, "If God deeply desires to place us in relationship with the body of Christ (the church), doesn’t that mean He also desires to place us with the spouse of His choice?"
Do you see that shift? It's not about who we want to marry - or arrange for our children to marry - but who God desires to place us with.
Marriage then, for me, becomes a supernatural, God-valued, serious part of our lives.

But, why would God create marriage? Why is it important?
Marriage is the most intimate (closest) of human relationships. Of all your Earthly relationships - all of them - the closest, the most intimate, the most endeared is the one with your spouse. No relationship trumps the relationship with your spouse. If others - even children - have come between you and your spouse, your marriage is in trouble.

Why is the marriage relationship the most precious? In Romans 8:29, Paul writes, "For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His son (Christ-like)." We know from Jeremiah that God knew us before we were born, and God desires us to be conformed to the image of His son, Jesus. Marriage - being bound to someone for a lifetime - forces us to care for someone other than self, to consider someone other than self, to love someone more than self. What better than marriage sharpens us toward putting self aside and being more like Jesus? Remember the traditional vows: Love, Honor & Cherish (putting spouse ahead of self) Until Death Do Us Part?

Marriage is God's way of teaching us to be more Christ-like. Knowing this about marriage helps us understand why we should be praying every day for our spouse. Single folk should be praying for their future spouse. Parents should be praying for the future spouses of their children . . . and grandchildren. Who do you have chosen, Lord, and hear and direct my prayers for them?

The problem in our culture, friends, is that we don't take seriously the things of God. We have reduced church - the bride of Christ - to another organization through which to impress our friends. We claim to pray for others, but never do it. We've trivialized marriage. Many marriages are doomed to fail before they even begin.

In some faiths, marriage (Matrimony) is a Holy sacrament. Even in Baptist services, pastors and officiants will refer to Holy Matrimony. Matrimony is a union; wedlock means joined or locked together. Holy means "set apart." And, so marriage is a bound - locked - relationship that is set apart by God - set apart from all the other relationships in your life. Because it is a relationship set apart by God, God has His hands on it. It's a covenant with God - a solemn and binding relationship meant to last a lifetime. God is so serious about His covenants with us - including marriage - that He sees them as a Walk into Death. God sees these covenants as a walk all the way to death. In the Old Testament, when two people made a covenant with one another, a goat or lamb would be slain and its carcass would be cut in half. With the two halves lying on the ground, the two people forming the covenant would solemnize their promise by walking between the carcass halves. That's how serious God sees marriage.

I don't like television shows like The Bachelor because it takes a God-breathed covenant like marriage and dumbs it down to our culture. Marriage is not a whimsical affair. We focus more on rings, dresses, flowers, parties, showers, bachelor parties, registering and honeymoon trips than we focus on the Holiness of what we are entering - a lifetime commitment with another human toward the goal of sharpening one another into deeper followers of Jesus. I refuse to officiate a wedding that, in planning and delivery, replaces holiness with culturalism. That's not to say that you can't have all the fun - I love a good wedding reception - but the celebration should be the union of two people and their covenant with God. What would a wedding reception look like if families of the bride and groom circled them for prayer before the party began? Many people enter marriage with a focus on the ceremony and parties - not the lifetime commitment that follows when all the guests go home.

The covenant is for a lifetime - until death do us part - because God doesn't go away and neither should we. God expects the covenant to stay around, too. And, marriage doesn't get easier as you grow older nor does a 25- or 50-year Anniversary translate into an immunity from problems. Many empty-nesters find their marriages have "lost purpose" once the children are grown, and spouses begin to look for new territory. As we get older, we begin to think about "bucket lists" that we want to accomplish without our spouses along. Satan hates God, and God is at the center of marriage. No marriage - until death has claimed it - is secure from Satan's attacks.

What about divorce? Clearly, and without question, divorce is not a a part of the marriage equation. That's why so much due diligence is required before marriage. It's why parents must coach children toward dating / engagement that involves prayer, faith conversations, parental counseling and formal counseling. Young people must know that marriage is serious business and divorce is not an option. But . . . certainly divorce is a reality in our broken world. Divorce is inevitable because of our broken world. Even in the Old Testament, Moses permitted divorce provided the two parties wrote a letter requesting it. Even in Moses' day it was relatively easy to get a divorce, but Moses required the letter to ensure the parties had thought it through.

Jesus was asked about divorce in Matthew 19:5-6. He responded this way, "Haven’t you read Scripture? God made them male and female. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into ONE. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them for God has joined them together.”
Someone asked Jesus, “Well, what about Moses and that letter-writing business?”
Jesus said, “Moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God originally wanted. And, I tell you this, a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery – unless his wife has been unfaithful.” (And, in our culture, that goes both ways)."

In fact, Paul, in 2 Corinthians, implies that if you aren't going to take marriage gravely seriously, it’s better to remain single.

So, what are the purposes of a marriage:

1. Cooperation – Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Comparable to him means similar and equal to him, compatible, to help and support one another in all things. It’s a partnership because two heads are better than one. Cooperation toward what? Making disciples of Jesus . . . not pooling money or working together for a better economic status.
2. Procreation – Procreation is about preserving humankind from extinction. But, understand this, Christianity does not make procreation or children the primary purpose of marriage – the primary purpose is cooperation. That’s why childless couples should not grieve God’s plan for them. Procreation – producing children from a sanctified home - is equivalent to generating missionaries into a hopeless world. God wants these children raised in faith so they can go marry someone who is a believer, and continue making disciples.
3. Sexual Intimacy - It's the sexual intimacy that protects the marriage against adultery and fornication (consensual intercourse between two non-married people). In 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, Paul writes that "the wife’s body does not belong to her and the man’s body does not belong to him. Each should fulfill their marital responsibilities; not depriving one another except by mutual consent." If you start monkeying around with sexual intimacy in your marriage – using it as a weapon, being influenced by sinful self-esteem about how your body looks, allowing yourself to get so busy that you are too tired – I promise that your marriage will begin to unravel. We are sexual beings made aware of it by man’s fall in the garden of Eden. When sexual intimacy disappears from marriage, most people will give in to a lack of self control and find the intimacy in other places - pornography if not adultery. The door becomes wide open for Satan to bombard the marriage. Christian Marriage elevates the bodily union to become a spiritual union, through the Holy Spirit, just as the Holy Spirit works in the Baptismal water to make humans a new creation.  The Holy Spirit also works in the couple during the marital ceremony, through prayers and faith to unite them in the Lord.  Through the commitments made by the bride and groom in fulfilling the commandments of marriage, and the work of the Holy Spirit, the two partners become one.
4. Reigning – Genesis 1:28, “God said them – man and woman, whom He created separately and purposefully – be fruitful and multiply, and fill the Earth and subdue it.” We must be good stewards and good managers of God’s creation, and I like to further than by saying, “We must be reminded to lead our families in making disciples of Jesus so that all who are on the Earth hear the gospel.”

In closing, I want to give you a few practical things to think about and discuss with your spouse concerning your day-to-day relationship.

1. Love your spouse as God loves us. Sacrificially. What can I put aside to make my spouse’s day better? What can I sacrifice? What speaks love into my spouse: Quality time, encouraging words, gifts, a hug or hand-holding, acts of service? My life? My body?
2. Honor your spouse. 1 Peter 3:7, paraphrased, honor your spouse – be considerate and treat them with respect. Not because they earn it but because through your covenant they deserve it. Being considerate means considering your spouse's feelings and responses before you act; respect them by holding them up as revered – not chiseling away at their reputation.
3. Cherish your spouse. Cherish means “To cultivate with care – to make the person feel special – the most special person to you.” Here's how we cherish our spouse:
1. Sacrifice.
2. Listening.
3. Touching.
4. Being With Them In Public.
5. Saying Kind Things About Them In Public.
6. Sharing Responsibilities.
7. Never Allowing Children or Parents or Siblings To Come Between Spouses.
8. Admiration.
9. Respect.
10. Seeing Every Day As Valentine’s Day.
11. Opening Doors Of Possibility – "Where You Go, I Go."
12. Taking Time To Be Alone With One Another.
13. And, Men, Providing Spiritual Leadership. Men: Have you abandoned spiritual leadership in your home?

Marriage is serious business. Marriage is serious to God because it sharpens us as followers of Jesus and it produces disciples. It is a contract with God. And, God takes His contracts seriously.

Love The Unlovable

As I prepared this week, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me and to all of us:
“You know the attitudes and sinful actions that hold you back from completely following me. I want to do greater things with you, but I can’t until you make some changes that free you to follow me more closely.” 
I don’t know what those changes are for you, but I’m pretty sure that you know what they are.
I know what they are for me.
One place of change for all of us is in loving the unlovable, and working to be more lovable ourselves.

• Are there people in your life who get on your nerves? If you see them in the grocery store you intentionally dodge them? 
• Are there family members or loved ones who have hurt you deeply?
• Have you been cheated by business partners or neighbors? Swindled?
• Deep down, do you loathe people because of their attitudes, their socio-economic position, the color of their skin, the worship of their God?
• Do you get tired of hearing about how wonderful life is for your neighbor?
• Do you get frustrated when people you love keep making the same dumb mistakes over and over and over again?
• Is there a supervisor or co-worker who just has your number? Oppressive?
• Betrayed? Lied to? Belittled? Ridiculed? Humiliated? Physically or emotionally beaten?
• Maybe it’s just people who walk around like “Eeyore” – woe is me all the time? Maybe it’s people who never smile. Maybe it’s people who are so manic and bi-polar you never know who’s coming at you? Jekyll or Hyde? Unpredictable personalities can just suck the life out of you.
• What about those who whine, complain and live in the drama of “you love them more than you love me.”

It goes on and on. People are unlovable. We are all unlovable.

But, as followers of Jesus we have a problem.
Two of the non-negotiable truths of our faith are these: We must love everyone, and we must forgive everyone. Everyone. No exceptions. Love and forgive everyone. Why? Because Jesus loves and forgives us beyond our transgressions toward Him, and as followers we must reciprocate that toward everyone else.

Mark 12:31 reads, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The New American Standard says it this way, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The International Standard says, “You must love your neighbor.” All translations identify this as a “command” from Jesus, and there’s no wiggle room in a command. Read Luke 10:25-37, the parable of the Good Samaritan. When hearing "love your neighbor," people began looking for wiggle room. Someone asked Jesus, "Who is my neighbor?" In the Good Samaritan story, Jesus tells of the Jew who stopped to help his cultural enemy, the Samaritan. In this, Jesus said, "Everyone is your neighbor. Love everyone."

In Mark 5:43-48, we read, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." This is Jesus speaking.

In Ephesians 4:31-32, Paul writes, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in  Christ forgave you.” That’s why we have to love and forgive one another. If we are going to follow Jesus, we must draw closer to Him and be more like Him.

Okay, I can forgive the person who pulls out in front of me in traffic. Or, the person who is having a bad day and vents on me. I can even forgive the Sunday School teacher who forgot to call me when I was sick. But, what about those in my life who screwed me over, scarred me emotionally and sent me into therapy? Yep, love and forgive . . . everyone. No exceptions.

This must have bothered Peter, because in Matthew 18:22 the famed disciple came to Jesus and asked,
“How often should I forgive someone?” Rabbis were teaching you only had to forgive someone three times. Peter suggested, to Jesus, that His followers do the right thing and increase the number of cheek-turning  times from three to seven. I can imagine Jesus laughing at the idiocy of this request when he exclaimed, "No! Seventy times seven." Jesus chose 490 times, showing that such a large number would equate for us to infinity. You are commanded to love and forgive . . . everyone. No exceptions.

Jesus goes on to tell the story of the unforgiving debtor, in Matthew 18:23-35. A king was approached by someone in his debt. The debtor begged for mercy and the king extended the mercy. Then, the debtor turned around and confronted someone who owed him. When the debtor's debtor begged for mercy, the debtor had his debtor arrested. The king found out about it. The angry kind then had his debtor sent to prison to be tortured until he had paid his debts.

Do you get it? God is the king. We approach God needing mercy for our debts, and He provided Jesus. He extended grace beyond our understanding and grace beyond our deserving. He loved the unlovable. So, then we turn to see the unlovable in our own lives. When we don't reciprocate God's love for us, we put ourselves in front of God's law. In my own life, I know what's it like to be tortured by the Holy Spirit - to be out of fellowship with God - until my attitudes toward my debtors changed.

Remember the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). "And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. (v. 12). We chant The Lord's Prayer so much that we gloss over it, don't we?

When I talk about love and forgiveness toward everyone, I always have people who want to argue in order to justify hating someone. "Well, what if so and so isn't a believer? Doesn't all this apply only to believers? What if the person isn't sorry or repentant?" Jesus says "everyone." And, I choose to err on the safe side: I just love and forgive and move on. The alternative is to fester on negative attitudes that allow Satan to whisper in my ear.

Above, you read that Jesus says, "pray for those who persecute you." So, in loving and forgiving, we need to pray for the unlovable. But, there's more. At the Last Supper, Jesus is surrounded by men who said they loved Him deeply, but treated Him poorly. Thomas would doubt His resurrection; James and John had fought over who He loved more; Peter aggravated Him and would deny Him; and Judas would betray Him. And, the others, you bet they aggravated Him, too, never quite understanding who He was or what He was, and stumbling all over themselves.

And, yet, look at what Jesus did. They gather for the Last Supper – Jesus and this rag tag bunch – and in John 13:4 we read, “So Jesus got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash his disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel he had around him.” Jesus loved the unlovable by serving them.

Love the unlovable? As followers of Jesus, we have no choice. We must love them and forgive them, completely. And, we must pray for them, and we must serve them. Why? Because we follow a risen Savior who has done and does the same for us. Followers of Jesus have no choice.

But, I have to add something, here, too. Each of us is a problem-child for someone else. Each of us, even if we don’t really know it, is one of the unlovable to someone else. It might not be anything you have done; might just be an attitude. It might just be unfriendliness or even the perception of unfriendliness. It might be aggravation. Perhaps you slip into melancholy and can't help but advertising to the world.

It’s tough to wander through this life and not be someone’s unlovable. I believe every single one of us is someone's unlovable, and perhaps we are unlovable to more than one. I know that there are some who don't love me because my actions and attitudes are unlovable. I know there are some who don't like me either.

And, so, in closing, I want to offer some things that I try to practice (with varying degrees of success) toward being more lovable. You can look at Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5:3-10 for some of these: Practice humility, be merciful, be a champion for peace, do the right thing, and love and serve people. Here are some others from my own playbook:

• Point conversations to other people and their lives. What is your story? How is your family?
• Avoid complaining to those with whom you don't have relational credibility. Certainly, friends should go to friends with all kinds of concerns and problems, but chronic complaining to casual acquaintances and strangers does no one any good.
• Be genuine. Be the same at home as you are in public. If you can't do that, what should you be changing at home? Read Galatians 5 - the fruits of the spirit - what are yours? Be that person.
• Don't be the person who has ideas for others to implement. No one likes to be around the person who says, "I have an idea for you to do." Don't start something you can't finish.
• Be quietly kind. Ask yourself, "Do I love these people as Jesus loves me?"
• Practice hospitality. It doesn't matter where you live or even how clean it is. Opening your home to others is a genuine sign of loving people.

And, just remember, all of this love and service is toward one goal: Building relationship through which we can ultimately talk about our love for Jesus.

The Change Up

God gave me a lesson to teach this week, but then He hijacked that lesson and replaced it with another.

Reading this week from the book of Romans - written by Paul - I came across the familiar verse of Romans 12:2-3: "Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then, you will know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." I understand the larger context of that verse, but it spoke to me differently this time: "Change the way you think, Scott, change up the way you are living. Let God use that to transform you."

I came away from Christmas this year somewhat sick at my stomach.

Every year, we go to bed late on Christmas Eve and get up early on Christmas morning. Then, we rush through our family time so that we can pack up and get on the road to Atlanta. We must be at my parents’ house by 4:30 or 5 because at 5:30 we sit down to a meal of prime rib, Aunt Lou’s rice, green beans cooked in fat back, some kind of strawberry salad, Sister Shubert’s frozen dinner rolls, and chocolate layer cake for dessert. Then, we descend into the great room – all 21 of us – for a marathon of opening gifts most of which everyone knows will be exchanged so receipts are included inside the gift. Then, we watch a little television and go to bed. The next day, Christmas is over, and we all begin to drift back to our homes, and my parents are generally glad to see us leave, taking the chaos of the Christmas celebration with us. Each year, it is a mind-numbing exercise in routine. Over and over, year after year, it is the same scene in the same drama of our lives. And, because it’s monotonous, going-through-motions, the same old same old, we begin to get lethargic with Christmas and with family. Our celebration, unintentionally, becomes stagnant. Christmas becomes more about the “doing just to get it over with” rather than “celebrating family through Christmas.” It's time for a change up.

And, stagnation in one area of our life begins to infect every corner of our lives. Our days, our months, our years all begin to look like one another. Did you celebrate Valentine’s Day the same old way as last year? Flowers, card, candy, dinner out, sex? Maybe all the pieces were there, but how different would it be say if you had sex first? Then, you ate the candy together in bed. At least it would be different. What? Not without alcohol? Well, maybe a little champagne breakfast is just what you and yours need on a Valentine’s Day. And, this year, on a Thursday! Now, that's changing it up!

Stagnation and lethargy are suffocating the human experience. Vicki and I were in Washington DC this past weekend. I was the speaker at a church communication clinic,and we decided to turn the trip into a Valentine's getaway. On Friday, she wanted to visit the national Holocaust Museum. I had been there before, and so I let Vicki tour at her own pace. I went to the various “reflection” areas just to think and pray and listen to the testimonies of the Holocaust survivors. A message kept coming through to me, “count every single day as precious – count every single day as an opportunity to really live it. Don’t let your life become complacent. Don’t let your life become lethargic and stagnant.”

Change things up. Keep your life fresh. Value your relationships.

• Every day with your spouse should be like your first date with your spouse. 
• Every day with your children should be like the first day you held them.
• Every day with your Savior should be like the day you first confessed Jesus as your Savior.

The problem is that life calls us to conformity. It's easy (lazy, I say) to just get into routines and schedules and habits, walking like zombies through life and leaving a wake of complacency, lethargy and stagnation. We do the same things the same way - year after year after year - and then we moan from our death beds, "Where did my life go?" I will tell  you this, more and more I am an advocate of "change for the sake of change." Let's just do things differently. And, see if we can't experience a revival of God in our lives because of it.

Perhaps the most sad thing of all is when we let our faith – our precious faith – slip into stagnation. It is so easy for our faith lives and our practice of faith to be no different in 2013 than it was in 2012, 2011, 2010, and 2009. And, I laugh when I hear people say, “I will be a better believer when my children are grown because I will have more time for church and faith.” Great for you - not so good for your children. And, the most unchurched group of people in America? Empty-nesters, who no longer feel the pressure to have their children at church. Stagnation today will be even greater tomorrow. It's a cancer.

You and I need a new enthusiasm.
We need a new enthusiasm over our faith. We need a new enthusiasm over time with Scripture, prayer, the gathering of believers, and the service toward others.
We need a new enthusiasm over our spouses.
We need a new enthusiasm over our children, parents and siblings.
We need a new enthusiasm over the family calendar.
We need a new enthusiasm over our friends, and the finding of new friends in faith.
We need a new enthusiasm over evangelism and telling others about Jesus.
We need a new enthusiasm over this precious life we have been given.

I pray every day that you and I can be part of a revival in Lexington, SC. Not that we necessarily lead it, but that we just have opportunity to be a part  of it. I want to see men and women, husbands and wives, say, I’m going to love Jesus deeply and my life – my priorities, my calendar and even my bank account – will show it. I'm going to change things up.

I’m going to open the Bible every day. I’m going to pray every day – even if I just close my eyes and sit quietly. I’m going to stun my wife by sitting beside her on the sofa and holding her hand – not toward the goal of seeing her naked, but just because I love her. I’m going to go on walks with my children – individually – so I can hear their voices, and I’m not going to be a dream-killer when they share the dreams of their hearts. For no reason whatsoever, I am going to call my parents and siblings and just say, "I love you and I appreciate you."

I decided in December that I would change things up by adding weekly exercise to my calendar. My med-school son pushed me further. "You can't work out 2-3 days a week, dad, and then go eat Rush's chili cheeseburgers. Count your calories, watch  your salt and what your fat. But, mostly, dad, do something every day - walk 20 minutes every day. Do something to get your heart rate going."

I've gotten to where I look forward to the daily walk of 60 minutes or more. I use the time to pray or to listen to Scripture on my iPod, or just listen to a good book - usually fiction or a biography - on tape. I feel better because of the walk. I've met some good people who have encouraged me and whom I have encouraged. I sleep better because of the exercise, and because I sleep better my days are more rested and focused. I'm getting more work done in less time. I'm more patient and sympathetic because I'm more rested and feel better. One hour of walking every day has changed a lot of different places of my life. That one hour has shaken me out of a lethargy that beset me in the final quarter of 2012.

Change something. Let God shake open your life like shaking out a bed sheet on a nice Spring morning. What can God do with me and you if we just change some things to live today differently from this day last year and from yesterday? Revival begins with me and you. We need to change things up.

The Love Dilemma - Friendship

I love Sunday School. I always have.

As a boy, even when I sat under the teaching of boring old teachers, I still could not wait to get to Sunday School. It was about seeing the other guys, and it was about seeing if someone new would show up. I did not know it then, as I know it now, but there’s so much fun in seeing who God will send on any given Sunday.

I have been to a church property almost every Sunday morning of my life, and have rarely missed an opportunity to be in Sunday School. On vacation, I go to a church and visit Sunday School. Even today as my work – my ministry – takes me to churches all over North America, I will find a Sunday School class and visit.

I know the name sounds stupid – Sunday School. It has implications of small children sitting in a circle. It’s embarrassing to say to adult friends, “Will you go with me to Sunday School?” conjuring up images of Kool-Aid, crayons and round butter cookies. But, I’m not ashamed of it. Sunday School is so much a part of my spiritual DNA that I would crawl to church with a fever rather than miss it. 

What is it that I love? I love seeing people. I still love seeing – every Sunday – who God will send. I love the community – that arm-in-arm laughter together, service together, and work together. Sunday School brings together what I love about faith, the fellowship of believers, and the service to others. Everything is bundled up in one great package.

I realize that everyone does not love Sunday School like I do. For some it’s a place to wait while children are in other ministry areas. That’s okay. Everyone can have their own reason for being in Sunday School. God sent you, and that’s all that matters. But, you get out of it – in encouragement, correction, care, and friendship – what you put into it. To have a friend, you have to first be a friend.

And, I guess that’s it for me. Sunday School is where my true friends live with me. I have lived enough life in a lot of different places and with a lot of different people to know how fickle and shallow people can be. Many are great friends while your lives intersect around this or that, but when life’s cards reshuffle, they are gone. Friends in faith – friends in faith stay with you. Many of my friends on Facebook are ancient friends – and the thread that binds us is the thread of faith. It’s like God laced our lives together – many through Sunday School classes – and I love that about my life. And, I love that God is still lacing my life with others – true friendships – friendships through faith that are cultivated through Sunday School.

And, I love my friends.

I do. Man or woman. When God plows my life together with another person, it’s distinctive. Vicki will always be my best friend. No other person will challenge her for that role. You will never hear me say another human being is my best friend, but her. But, I am aware that God has laced my life with friends in faith, and those relationships are defined clearly by certain characteristics. I encourage  you to examine your friendships against these five definitions. See how your friendships, see how your allegiances stack up. Do you have the lifelong friends of faith?

• Faith defines them. 2 Corinthians 6:14 is clear. Don’t be mismatched with unbelievers. Don’t marry them. Don’t be in business with them. Don’t weave your life tightly with them. Friends will know one another’s faith story, and it’s impossible to share a faith story with saying the word, “Jesus.” In no way I am suggesting you can’t be friendly with an unbeliever – you can and you should build relationship toward introducing that person to Jesus. You must have unbelievers in your life to be a follower of Jesus, and you must love those unbelievers toward a goal of seeing them saved. But, those with whom you weave your live together in tight relationship – Scripture says they should also be believers, and you and I should confess to them and hear them confess as well. Can’t do it? Examine your heart and your relationship with Jesus. Friends are a gift from God, but to understand that – Jesus must be confessed in the center of it. My friends have heard me talk about Jesus.
• Love defines them. 1 Samuel 18:1. “After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between then, for Jonathan loved David.” Jonathan loved David and David loved Jonathan in the way that Jesus loved Lazarus and wept for him. I’ve stood over the gravesite of childhood friends, and wept over memories not because I was sad, but because I loved them. When my life becomes woven with someone, they know the depths of me and I know the depths of them. It’s impossible to be in that deep of a relationship and not love each other deeply, and for me – expressively. My friends know that I love them. I tell them. I find the courage to tell them.
• Truth defines them. In Matthew 26:34, Jesus tells Peter, whom he loved, “Truly I say to you, Peter, this night, before the rooster crows three times, you will betray me.” In Matthew 16:23, Jesus, angry at Peter, says, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me.” Friends tell friends the truth – and sometimes it’s going to pinch. You don’t really have friends if you can’t tell them the truth, and they can’t tell you the truth. And, you need to fall to your knees and thank God for the friend who can see your life unfolding foolishly through careless mistakes and say, “Stop right now. You need to stop. You have to change. It’s for your own good.” I love my friends so deeply that I am willing to hurt their feelings for their own good.
• Laughter and Grief define them. In Luke 10:21, Jesus sends out his disciples and they return talking about the great things the Spirit has done through them, and Luke writes, “At that same time, Jesus was filled with joy of the Holy Spirit and began to pray. He said to the disciples, his friends in faith, “you have seen what kings only wish they could see.” I have to believe that Jesus was laughing, even as he prayed. Likewise, we do know that in John 11:35 that “Jesus wept” at the news that his friend, Lazarus had died. Friendship will be defined by sharing the width and depth of both joy and grief together. When you laugh, I laugh with you; when you grieve, I grieve with you. My life is your life. My friends know I am walking in this life with them - good and bad.
• Failure and Redemption defines them. In Mark 14, we know that the rooster did crow, indeed, and we know that Peter did deny Jesus. Wound so closely together, friends do fail one another. We get selfish and we overlook another’s needs. We get jealous of one another. We want to say, “I was there for you, but you were not there for me.” We slip up and say, “Your children drive me crazy.” But, friends in faith know that there is restoration. Peter was Jesus' friend, and Peter was forgiven and restored by Jesus, in John 21. Jesus asks Peter, three times, if he loved Him. Peter responds yes all three times, and Jesus says, “Go and feed my sheep.” I am quick to forgive my friends when they injure me.

I have lived in five different communities – moving to places and not knowing a single soul. I've served on a hospital board of directors. I have been involved in philanthropy, serving on local boards of the cancer society and the heart association. I have been involved in Rotary clubs, and Kiwanis clubs, and the Jaycees. I have been in booster clubs. I have been a leader in recreation sports organizations. I have stood in pouring rain collecting money for the Empty Stocking Funds, cooked hamburgers for booster clubs, and walked 10 miles for the March of Dimes. I have had friends at work, and friends in my neighborhood. As a loyal customer, even today I’m friends with most of the managers at the stores I visit. My doctor is even my close friend.

But, I have no friends like those in faith - those in  Sunday School. If I died today, I would want my faith friends to carry my casket, I would trust my faith friends to minister to Vicki and the boys, and I would want my faith friends to pray at my graveside. There are no holier friends than those with whom we share Jesus and Christian fellowship. And, for me, it begins and ends with Sunday School.

The Love Dilemma - Sacrifice

John 3:16: "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." NLT

While our faith hangs on this Scripture verse, there are two things within the verse that cause me to pause when thinking about Love. First, God gave his "one and only" so that our existence would be improved. Second, while God "gave," the giving wasn't a gift in the sense of a birthday gift, but in the sense of a sacrifice. God "gave away" so that our existence would be improved. God did not give one of his sons so we could have eternal life; God has his only son - sacrificed his only son - so we could have eternal life.

In the context of our lives, there are four recognized forms of Love. I present them here admittedly over-simplified:

• Eros - Romantic, sensual, erotic love.
• Storge - Affectionate love; the love you share within families. Chance love - "I had no control over being in this relationship, which is bound by affection for one another."
• Philia - Love between friends; love between people who share a common interest or activity.
• Agape - Unconditional, sacrificial love regardless of circumstance.

In the coming weeks, we'll unpack Love from a lot of different angles using the definitions above. It would be impossible to begin this conversation without a quick look at Agape love. As followers of Jesus, this is the Trump Card of Love - it's the Love we are called to replicate in all of our relationships - the one with the Father through Jesus and the ones with others. In fact, our Eros, Storge and Philia forms of Love are stronger when grounded in Agape love. I swear my parents - after 50+ years of marriage - seem to be more in love sense my dad cut back on his deer hunting so he could be available for my mom following her injuries in the past year. He sacrificed what "he wanted" for what "she needed" and their marriage - even in these Golden Years - as improved. Wow, what we can learn from that . . . right now!

When I think of a human example of sacrifice, I look to the life of my Vicki.

Vicki was born in Macon, GA. She was the third of four children. When she was a little girl the family of six moved to Decatur, GA - within Atlanta. Her dad, Don, was an electrical engineer with Georgia Power Company. Vicki's dad grew up Baptist; her mom grew up Methodist. The family was involved in a Methodist congregation while in Macon, but fell away from church and faith when they moved to Decatur. In Atlanta, the Bowens made fast friends with Martha and Larry Creel, who were neighbors and co-workers at Georgia Power. Martha Creel was a strong follower of Jesus, ensuring her children were in church and involved in faith. She began to invite / take Vicki to church with her children. It was through Sunday School and worship, as a little girl, that Vicki prayed to receive Jesus as her Savior. (Vicki made a public profession and was baptized at Watkinsville (GA) First Baptist when she was in college at the University of Georgia).

Martha Creel had her own children to get up and get out the door to church. It wasn't just one time that Martha took Vicki with her family to church - it was all the time. Martha made a sacrifice to ensure her neighbor's child came to know Jesus, too.

When Vicki was a junior in high school, her dad received a job offer from the Lower Colorado River Authority in Austin, TX. It was a job too good to ignore, but there was dilemma. Vicki was entering her senior year of high school. She was a cheerleader. She had good friends. She was at the top of her academic class. She was wrapping up a very strong high school tenure. Don and LaRose made the decision to leave their daughter - their 17 year old daughter - in Georgia with no family nearby. Arrangements were made for Vicki to live out her senior year with a friend's family. They left her behind. Don told me much later that he cried all the way to Mississippi and turned back twice in Alabama. For years I thought there was a measure of shamefulness in his decision to leave his daughter in the care of strangers. But, as I matured, I realized that Don made a sacrifice for his daughter's happiness and for her future. And, had he not left her, I would not have met her, and our lives would be vastly different.

Don Bowen made a sacrifice for what he felt was the best thing for his daughter. He made that sacrifice from a deep place of love and not a superficial place of selfishness.

Unfortunately, Vicki's housing with the friends was short-lived. The friend's mom was unwilling to make the sacrifice, and Vicki was given "notice" to find other living arrangements or move to Texas. One afternoon, her economics teacher, Martha Chastain overheard girls talking about Vicki's situation. Martha talked to her husband, Larry (yes another Martha and Larry), and they agreed that Vicki could live her senior year with them. The Chastain's two-year-old son Michael would love the idea. It was while Vicki lived with the Chastains that I met her, we began dating, and have been together for 31 years.

Martha and Larry Chastain made a sacrifice to "rescue" a young woman in need. It's not an easy thing to open your home - warts and all - to an outsider, and yet they made that sacrifice to help a young woman's future.

Sacrifice. Sacrifice is "giving" with the volume turned all the way up. It's love that's amplified.

Sacrifice isn't opening your wallet and saying, "Here, please take one of my $20 bills." No, sacrifice is opening your wallet and saying, "Take my only $20 bill. Take my entire wallet."

Sacrifice isn't "working someone in" your calendar. Sacrifice is closing the calendar and saying, "Where do you need me?"

Sacrifice isn't community service when it's convenient. Sacrifice is working on all day, and then serving others when you are hungry and exhausted.

Sacrifice isn't serving while on vacation; sacrifice is forfeiting vacation for service.

Sacrifice isn't the dad who buys his children everything they need because he can afford it; sacrifice is the dad who will give up everything but work and toil so that his children can eat, have a roof and be clothed.

It's a dilemma for us isn't it? We want to bastardize sacrifice so that it's comfortable, But, it is not. Sacrifice will never be comfortable. It will always be costly; it will always involve suffering - giving up. And, giving up is like swimming upstream to humans in a world like ours.

John quotes Jesus in John 15:12-14: "Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one's life (sacrifice) for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command."

So, you and I are commanded to sacrifice for one another as an expression of our love for one another. And, this sacrifice is for everyone because Jesus was a sacrifice for everyone. And, those who are willing to sacrifice are those that Jesus will call His friends.

Gulp. Big gulp.

What can I give up today? What can I sacrifice today? What can I go without so that others can live more prosperous? And, can I make this a daily practice? Can I make this a part of my journey as a follower of Jesus? Love is a dilemma.

A Simpler 2013

Church involvement combined with personal Christianity can be exhausting. If we're not careful, we can be pulled this way and that way, attend this and attend that, contribute this and contribute that, and be here and be there. Sometimes I get so exhausted with all of it that I lose the energy to be the effective believer that I'm called to be: I don't have the energy to minister to others toward the goal of talking about Jesus.

And, so my goal is to live a simpler 2013.

In Acts 2:43-47, Luke – the Gentile physician – writes, “A deep sense of awe came over them (all the believers who were meeting together), and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshipped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity – all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.”

In Acts 8, Saul is persecuting – murdering – Christians and many of them have scattered. Look at verse 4: “But (despite persecution) the believers who were scattered preached the Good News about Jesus where they went.”

Last week, I went on a three-day trip to Washington, DC. I went with my son, William, who was auditioning for a role in a theatre performance there. William and I rode Amtrak from Florence to DC, primarily because Union Station was within walking distance of both our hotel and the theatre. It was just really easy - no rental cars or taxi rides.

It was on the train ride back to Florence that I began to pour over Scripture and pray. “Lord, we live in such a cluttered and noisy world, where we face all kinds of pulls and pushes – many times from within our own families – and I get so tired sometimes that I don’t have the energy to follow you as closely as I should.

And, the Lord led me to Acts 2 and 8 as a reminder of how simple the community of faith should be and how focused my involvement should be. His message to me – and to our class – was this: Slow down, keep things simple, but be bold in proclaiming the Good News.

In 2013:

• We will certainly continue our regular meeting together, as believers, on Sunday mornings, but we are going to put additional emphasis on our women’s and men’s groups, and other small groups that perhaps some of you want to start. Sunday will be our weekly gathering, but I want to see other groups gather and meet for prayer and Bible Study.
• We will continue to share what we have with one another and with those in need, but we are going to pull this back to a smaller number of benevolent projects.
• We are going to have a push for people to open their homes – big or small, new or old, polished grass or – in my case – weeds, for the purpose of Christian hospitality and the sharing of the Lord’s Supper. I would like to take some time at Easter and see small groups gather in homes for the purpose of prayer and the Lord’s Supper.
• We will continue to enjoy the goodwill of one another through Christian fellowship, providing parties that help us connect and know one another better.

I hope you can see that our emphasis will be more on relationships than "collecting" stuff on Sunday mornings. Our goal this year is to build deeper relationships using small groups, service endeavors and parties toward the opportunity of telling people about Jesus. We won’t “do stuff” just for the sake of “doing stuff,” but for the sake of sharing the gospel. We must separate from what is known as Cultural Christianity – “feeling good about doing good, but keeping Jesus private to themselves.”

For all those early believers did for one another, for others and with others, the bottom line was that they gathered together and then they scattered to preach the Good News of Jesus. That’s what sets us apart. And, don’t tell me that you can’t do it, because that’s a lie. God did not call you to a private faith.

In fact, a faith story that is never or rarely shared cheapens grace, makes a mockery of the cross, and I dare say reflects a life that can talk about faith and church but has no eternal security whatsoever. Every person in your family and every friend you have must know your faith story, hearing Jesus proclaimed. People who know Jesus as their Savior will find it impossible – absolutely impossible – to keep Him private regardless of the personal risk to reputation and profit. To be unwilling to talk of Jesus is reflective of a life that does not really know him as Savior.

I know what you are thinking. Oh, Scott, I’m not qualified. I didn't grow up in church and no one has ever taught me how to share my faith. Or, Scott, my life is a contradiction – I love Jesus, but I like my Budweiser. Oh, Scott, if I start talking about Jesus to my friends, they won’t invite me to the lake; I just don’t want to be that serious. If I sit down with all my family and tell them how I came to Jesus, it will be like passing gas in a room with no ventilation. I'm not comfortable talking about Jesus. My faith is between me and the Lord.

Well, I’m sorry. Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” There is no wiggle room for a private faith – a selfish and cheap grace. We must confess it with our mouths that Jesus is our Lord. As Jesus climbed Calvary with that old rugged cross, he never said, “I’m doing this so it will be easy for you – so you can believe, keep me to yourself, and never share the story of my sacrifice.”

But, understand, Sunday School, is and should be the “school” – the education ground – for how to build relationships, how to understand faith stories, and how to get comfortable with talking to others about Jesus – not in uncomfortable ways, but just in seeing opportunities, hearing the Holy Spirit, and seizing the opportunity. Sunday School is where we believers come together to learn from Scripture, learn from one another, and develop our own style for sharing the gospel with others. Through Sunday School, you and I develop our own styles for sharing our faith, but share our faith we must do. And, we must free ourselves from busyness in order to do it. And, sharing our faith doesn't follow a prescriptive, rote process. No, we can open the door to faith conversations by simply praying in the name of Jesus or asking, "Where is Jesus in the storm of your life?"

So, after pouring through all of this on the train ride home, while sitting in the Amtrak’s Café Car, I returned to my seat and took out my 890-page copy of Larry McMurtry’s western classic, Lonesome Dove, which I am reading as part of my 25 books of 2013. William and I were sitting across the aisle from a senior adult man – I later learned was 84. He got on the train with us in DC, and I had helped him lift his bags to the compartment over the seat.

As I began reading Lonesome Dove, I was startled by a sound coming from the old man’s seat. Was that a sob? I know what it’s like to cry so hard that you sob out loud and that’s exactly what it sounded like to me. I looked over and, yes, he was sobbing, weeping so deeply that he could not contain the gasping sounds coming from within.

I closed my book and took a deep breath. I focused on the Lord, and said, “Come on, Lord. Are you kidding me?" And, here’s what I got back, “No Sunday School gathering, no church attendance, no class party, no mission project, no money in an offering plate, no singing of a pretty song – none of that is what you are called to do. You are called for this moment and for all the moments just like it. You are called to step in and love others in the name of Jesus.. All the other “church” stuff provides the education and the encouragement for the moments just like this one – the moment to touch another life in the name of Jesus.”

As I prayed, I heard the old man get control of his emotions. I waited and then I leaned over and simply opened the door to conversation, “Sir, we get off the train in Florence. If you don’t get off there, I’ll get your luggage down for you and leave it in our seats.” He thanked me, and said he was going to Savannah.

I told him that I had once lived in Southeast Georgia, had been an editor of the newspaper in Statesboro, but that our corporate office had been in Savannah. I told him my best friend from college is a Savannah attorney, and that Vicki and I like to go to Tybee Island.

Mr. Ray McCrary told me that he had recently moved to DC to live with one of his daughters. He was going “home” to Savannah to wrap up things related to the move. And, then, the tears flowed. “My wife wants a divorce – after 50 years of marriage.” He was going home to sign papers and begin arrangements to sell their home.

I asked him about his children – other than the daughter he was joining in DC – and he talked of their four natural children and one adopted daughter. And, then, he took a deep breath, and cried some more. “My daughter Debbie died last year.” He apologized for the blubbering, and then said, “I wish I had been a better daddy; no matter how old you are, losing a child is the most horrible thing that can happen to you.” And, I just wondered if somehow his daughter’s death from cancer had in some way loosened the binding ties of an already fragile marriage.

“Please keep me in your prayers,” he said. And, I held his hand and I prayed for him right there on that Amtrak train. Once I would have worried about what everyone else thought, but no more – the urgency of the gospel opportunity trumps what anyone might think about me.

“You must be in the ministry,” he said. “All believers are in the ministry,” I told him. I told him that I was in vocational ministry, and had come to that through a career in the newspaper business. We talked about faith and church. He regretted not having his family in church more, and he regretted not being that faith-minded leader in his family. “We were in church when they were little, but then we just stopped going. None of them go now. If I had it to do over again, we would have been in church every Sunday,” he said.

And, then, we were approaching Florence.

As I stood up, he reached for my hand and said, “It’s funny how all conversations can easily lead to faith. Thank you for helping minister to me; thank you for reminding me that God cares about me. It’s been a long time since I heard someone talk about Jesus.”

I want 2013 to be about spiritual growth through personal preparedness to share the gospel. I want our class to become a catalyst for spiritual revival in our church and in our community. I want us to build authentic relationships with people toward the single goal of talking about Jesus, and I want us to hold one another accountable to grow in our ability to do it.